Two of us worked overnight shift in a group home for men with mental health issues. One night during 12am headcount, I couldn’t find one of the men. Eventually my coworker found the missing guy in one of the other men’s room jacking off over his snoring open mouth. My coworker didn’t let him finish…
Walked into my room to find (then really recent) ex-girlfriend fisting herself on my bed begging me to take her back. I immediately turned around, closed the door, went to the bathroom and took a cold shower until she left. It was pretty damn uncomfortable, especially since my then-roommate and I could never figure out how exactly she got into the house.. Or how she knew where I lived, as the relationship was very short lived.
Not much of a walking-in-on but… When my dad moved into a new house, I was over his house for the weekend, helping unpack boxes and stuff (divorced parents). Anyway, we were setting up stuff in his room so we eventually got his tv out and plugged in. He was in his closet sorting stuff and he asked me to check if the dvd player worked in case it got broken during moving or something. It’s one of those smaller tvs that has a dvd player built in — I don’t know how those work exactly, but anyway, I switch over to the video input and the dvd starts to play some porno where a guy’s getting a handjob in a barn… I just walked out of the room as quietly as possible.
Oh, and the worst one I just remembered: I went over my dad’s house for the weekend again. I have a ps2 in my room and at that time, it was the only means of watching dvds. When I got into my room there were a couple beer bottles, a porno in the ps2 (not playing) and wadded up toilet paper balls containing most likely my younger siblings ON MY FUCKING BED. He walks in and says “Oh, sorry, let me clean this up.” followed by “Masturbating is not wrong,” from down the hall. Of course it isn’t, just not on your kid’s fucking bed.
I haven’t spoken to him in 1 year and 8 months
I usually prefer observing to participating, but can not keep myself from sharing this!
So my mom was always a bit of a party girl. During one of her more insane party phases, she decided she wanted a “roomie”. Said roomie was a 40-something man with shared interests.
I come home from a friends house one day to grab fresh clothes before heading back out for the night and knock on mr. Roomies door to check in and ask him to tell mom I wont be home that night. Door cracks open and roomie says “whoa!”the before then saying “wait wait wait, come here! I wanna talk to you!”
In the horrifying second before awkwardly fleeing, I observed roommates wrinkly balls, tiny yet scary erect penis and baby oil ALL OVER the floor. When I came home the next day, neither of us mentioned it. 10 tears later and I still don’t get why there was oil all over the floor… must be a creepy man thing?
My brother would always do the old poop fap. Catch is, he’d do it butt naked, at the age of 8, for at least 30 minutes. The weirdest it got was when we found a picture of a naked girl with a picture of my teenage lesbian cousin next to it in the bathroom. Needless to say, my dad was very concerned.
It was four in the morning after a long party and I thought I was the only one up. I went to lock up the house (we had a basement with an outside entrance). As I walking towards the basement door I heard some weird sounds. I opened the door and to my astonishment before my eyes lay three of my really good friends completely naked, going at it. Two dudes one girl. And I could not make this shit up, Marvin Gaye “Let’s get it on” was playing on speakers.
I was stunned. I closed the door and walking away. I lit up a cigarette took a few drags then I just burst out laughing. My two guy friends came out to talk to me, telling me that it was rather that I see this than anyone else. It was small comfort. My other friend (the girl) couldn’t look me in the eye for a while. We shared a tiny room together so we talked about it soon after. The image was forever burnt into my eyes. At the time we were living communally with a group of 20 people for close to a year. So I saw these people almost every waking hour. I kept that shit a secret for over 2 years before they told people.