5. cuzimangie

I was in elementary school and had just finished showering. I was putting my clothes back on and looking in the mirror hanging on the back of the closed door.

In the reflection, I saw a man looking in the window behind me. When he realized I was looking at him, I could see his eyes open really wide as he was probably thinking SHIT! I started screaming and ran out pretty much naked into the kitchen where my family was having dinner and hid under the table.

My dad ran out the front door to chase the guy.. but he was pretty much gone by then. I still hate windows and mirrors.

6. kingspark

In 5th grade, my parents left town and somehow wound up leaving me with the family of a kid from my school I only somewhat knew. I did know that this kid was somewhat crazy but friendly enough….
After school on friday the adventure begins by him showing me that I’ll sleep on a couch in a family room. We do little kid stuff until his mother and father come home all upset. Some uncle in from out of town had just died that day on the couch I was to be sleeping on. His parents leave for some other relatives house to deal with the death, leaving us and his older twin-brother-and-sister behind in the house for pretty much the entire weekend, with a few exceptions.

The rest of the weekend is a blur of absolute insanity regarding what happened while the parents were gone, but two events are still very high on my lifetime most-fucked-up-shit list.

First event is when his older sister came home drunk or high with two little kittens. She told me their names were “Pink” and “Floyd” and “they were going to fuck and have kittens.”

A few hours later my friend and I are playing somewhere in the house when we hear all this yelling and commotion downstairs.. The dad came home drunk and angry, and had flipped out about the cats. My friend came back to tell me that the dad was really pissed and had gone in the back yard to drown the cats in a rain barrel to punish the sister.

When I realize what is happening, I run back there to see one kitten thrown out wet and dead across the grass, and the other one being pulled out of a shoebox. I blurt out that my mom had really wanted a kitten and I’ll take him back to my parents house right now and all this, just to please please stop.

He shrugs and drops the cat on me. Unfortunately I didn’t actually have any keys to the house, so for the rest of the weekend we hid it in a filing cabinet in the garage, giving it water and food at regular intervals..

We had that cat for 21 years.

The second was what happened after the kid sneaks into a bedroom they’re renting to some boarder and steals a porn video from his closet to watch.

The only VCR is in the parents bedroom, so we load it up there, sitting on the foot of the parents bed. The sister and brother come home and find us in there. They tease us a little, then sit on the bed behind us to make comments about the porn..

At one point, some big boobed woman is on the screen, and the kid’s brother behind me goes “that’s not big, [sisters]’s boobs are bigger!” My friend turns and looks and laughs, and nudges me to look. I look back and the brother has the sister’s shirt pulled up and is massaging her naked breast. I also notice she’s sort of feeling him up and they’re sitting really close together. I think I just turned back around and eventually eased away…

I was also on a elementary school shuttle bus in 3rd grade grade that that was involved in a minor fender bender. The other driver, a drunk security guard in uniform, beat my driver up when they went out to talk about it. The bus driver hitchhiked away down the freeway and I never saw him again. (We had a new driver about every week, this was a super ghetto bus company)

The security guard proceeded to threaten us through the glass with a fake badge and demand to be let on the bus. We barricaded ourselves inside while an older kid radioed for help on the bus radio.. We also threw cookies down at the security guard, infuriating him. Eventually the police came and we had to wait for a new bus to take us to school.

TL;DR: In one weekend staying at a classmate’s house: Uncle dies on the couch I’m to be spending the weekend on, Rescued kitten after seeing one drowned, witnessed awkward incest.

Also beaten bus driver.