Here Is Your Horoscope For Today

image - Flickr / Stuart Rankin
image – Flickr / Stuart Rankin

Your Birthday Today

A most inauspicious year is in store for you.
Consider sitting this one out.
If you must expose yourself, do so
in a way where you can easily affix
blame to others. Inner peace eludes you.

Capricorn (Dec. 22 — Jan. 19)

Relatives cast suspicious eye towards
your extremely modest success. Motives will be questioned
by those most close to you. Continue to shirk responsibility
but in a way that isn’t easily questioned.

Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb 18)

Finally the monkey is off your back. Make a big purchase today
regardless of your ability to pay. You deserve rewards in spite
of what others say.

Pisces (Feb. 19 — March 20)

Today shows tremendous promise. Just not for you.
Try a different excuse when calling out sick. Coworkers are
wise to you.

Aries (March 21 — April 19)

Have you been putting off
an important decision or project?
Continue procrastination beyond
deadline and then foist issue upon
spouse or lover. Or both.

Taurus (April 20 — May 20)

Look for hidden meaning from
talking head pundit. Hint: He’s on FOX
and cries. A lot. Heed his advice and by his book.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Make the first move. Don’t wait for a signal.
Leap, don’t bother looking. Avoid action at grave peril.

Cancer (June 21 — July 22)

You finally catch a break. Double down and
take the risk you’ve been avoiding.
People in your position don’t
have much to lose.

Leo (July 23 — Aug. 22)

Clean your refrigerator.
Do it now.
Really.

Virgo (Aug. 23 — Sept. 22)

Doubt consumes you.
Maybe it should.
Maybe it should not.

Libra (Sept. 23 — Oct. 22)

You are inspired
by an ingenious plan.
Inspiration continues
to frighten you. Wait
until your are certain.

Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21)

Today is well suited
for mating
with other
people.
Tests prove negative.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21)

Listen to the voices
inside your head.
They speak to you
for a reason.
Now is not the time for debate. TC mark

More From Thought Catalog

Never give up hope.

How do you come back from your lowest point? How do you drag yourself out of that black hole of nothingness that has consumed your life? For me, being diagnosed with Hidradenitis Suppurativa wasn’t easy. I now believe that if I can manage this skin condition, I can do anything.

Be Strong
Here Is Your Horoscope For Today is cataloged in , , , ,
  • http://EnPleinair.wordpress.com tawwsh

    Reblogged this on En Plein Air and commented:
    Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb 18)

    Finally the monkey is off your back. Make a big purchase today
    regardless of your ability to pay. You deserve rewards in spite
    of what others say.

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