Commuting to college? Gross. Sounds like a tiny step above attending community college. I would say “no thank you”, however, I have been surviving life as a commuter for two years strong.
Truthfully, it does have its positive aspects, but being a commuter (specifically living with mom and dad) is a recipe for insanity. Let’s delve into the horrific qualities.
You feel as though you’re still a teenager
Everyday you come home to that same old bedroom in which you spent many of your years, masturbating a lot probably. You get the wondrous pleasure of seeing mom and dad every god forsaken day, much like you did in high school and all years prior. It’s safe to claim that teens are the worst, and arguing with mom about overcooked pork chops puts me right on their disgusting level.
You likely have to lie to your parents
We all enjoy engaging in some things we wouldn’t want our parents to know about. Perhaps you take pleasure in smoking a little dope with your street urchin friends. You can’t just say, “Hey mom and dad I’m going to smoke a fat blunt of kush on Diego’s dilapidating porch.” This would shock them, and definitely make them inquire about Diego. Also it’s way too specific of a statement.
When you’re living on a school campus there’s no need to check in with parents or get permission. You can do essentially whatever you want in a dorm, including worship the devil or wipe your bare ass on other human beings’ pillows. Moving back home turned me into a liar and a story-teller, considering I spent much of the time early-on partaking in things I shouldn’t have been. I’ve matured greatly though! (I hope)
You gotta get nasty at your lover’s place
Unless you’re really bold, or resentful towards your parents because they raised you poorly or made out with your friends. I’m unable to even fathom the idea of staying horned up throughout a round of skeptical sex under my parents’ roof. Your best bet is to find a girl living in a single room who doesn’t have baby daddy drama or cold sores.
Making good friends at school can be difficult
The less time you spend on campus the harder it is getting to know people, obviously. You have to discover comfortable areas to relax in and strike up conversation, which can be tough when you fear coming across as a pervert or former-homeschooler (same thing) . As a commuter you’re forced to come out of your shell and work on being as outgoing as possible. Not quite “theater kid” outgoing, but pretty outgoing. Don’t be weird as shit, is what I’m getting at.
Bumping music is not usually an option
I want to listen to that hood shit at the utmost volume without hearing my mom yell, “That stuff is horrible”, or “Gucci Mane is ass!”
It can be lonely
Ask the 63 80s horror films I’ve watched within the last two weeks. There’s a constant feeling of missing out when you’re not surrounded by your peers at all times.
Despite all this, there are some truly great features to living at home. Closet and overall room space is phenomenal, as is sleeping without having to worry that someone is touching their genitals 5 feet away from you. You can also maintain reasonable sleep hours and rest peacefully. Nobody’s having loud sex unless your parents are cool as hell. Food is a tremendous factor. You can’t beat mom’s cookin’ when her lazy ass is so inclined. Lastly, if your family has pets you get the opportunity to hold their cute asses every day. If you don’t have pets, you should get some pets, man. What are you doing?