1. Hosting an open mic night at the local retirement center: Special Event Coordination.

2. Binge-watching episodes of HBO’s “Girls” while stress-eating cartons of Milk Duds: Thorough Market Research.

3. A part-time position walking dogs: Expert Team Leadership Skills.

4. Trolling famous authors on Twitter: Social Media Management.

5. Drinking whiskey in nearby bars/restaurants/classrooms/forests: Networking.

6. Mailing one poem to 90+ literary magazines at the same time: Direct Mail Campaigns.

7. Searching 90+ rejection letters for hidden signs of encouragement: Analytics Research.

8. Composing linked sestinas on the plight of the underpaid barista: Advanced Word Processing.

9. Reading passages of Middlemarch to classrooms of sleeping undergraduates: Expert Public Speaking.

10. Sending passive-aggressive emails to former instructors asking for internships/TA positions/letters of recommendation/anything: Drafting Professional Correspondences.

11. Creating fake Amazon accounts to promote a self-published post-Apocalyptic novel-in-prose-poems romantic comedy: Community Engagement.

12. Grossly exaggerating professional experience to finally secure your first interview: Expert Creative Writing.