The 7th of May marks my second month of self-harm free.
During the days I was at the hospital due to self-harm issues and depression, I was at the rock bottom of my life. I didn’t know what to do, but one thing I am sure about is that my self-harm brought nothing but tears to my family (especially my mom) and my friends. Every day might be a new day of struggle, but it doesn’t matter as long as I don’t pass the pain to the people around me.
Now, I’m trying to live.
Every time suicidal thoughts are coming I try doing other stuff other than grabbing the cutter or razor. I am not a psychiatrist or psychologist but based on personal experience, I am wishing, hoping, and praying that this post saves you today.
1. CRY IT OUT: I hate crying but I am the most emotional person you will ever meet. I cry over petty things. I cry over TV series or movies. I cry over simple words when they hurt me. I cry over anything that hurts my heart. But slowly, I have realized that there is nothing wrong with crying. It’s totally okay to cry. It’s not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign that you’re alive and that you’re a human being. So if a thoughts kicks in, I try my best to just cry it out.
2. SLEEP:This one works for me the best. One of the symptoms of my depression is I sleep way too much. I tried to put it on a positive motion that if my mind is trying to be a mess and I am thinking of hurting myself, I will sleep it away. So for me, it doesn’t matter if I have stuff to do, because my life is more important than anything else. They can call me lazy all they want but I sleep excessively because I am trying to save my life.
3. RANT TO A FRIEND: I am lucky enough to have the most amazing and supportive friends that I can tell my thoughts to without judgment. Sometimes one of the best things for you to do is to let your feelings out to someone you trust.
4. STOP GOING ONLINE FOR A WHILE: This works for me the best too. As we all know, social media is full of negativity. It will make you judge yourself and you may sometimes stumble upon a post that makes you harsh or feel negative. Social media is not healthy, but it’s something that’s so prevalent in our lives. Sometimes, though, we just have to take a break.
5. RUB ICE ON YOUR WRIST: I haven’t done this yet but someone told me that this works. You get a cube of ice and rub it on your wrist. It can satisfy what your body craves for but it won’t kill you.
I always keep in mind what my mom says that nothing is easy. Even though I have techniques in distracting myself away from self-harm, I still struggle every day. I still have the urge to grab that cutter and cut myself most especially when depression is kicking in. But mental disorders are something that can be helped with professionals and medication.
But please know this, you can get through this no matter how hard it can be.