I Won’t Be Taking Your Stop On The Subway Anymore

Oscar Keys
Oscar Keys

I lost the love of my life today
And I rode the subway home.
This is your stop,
I won’t be coming by here anymore.
I won’t be spending nights with you
We won’t get to stay up late, playing Slapjack and Big Two
Or showing each other funny videos we find on our feed
Or talking about anything and everything until we fall asleep
I won’t feel your arms around me when I wake
(Just thinking about this is giving me an unbearable ache)
My heart is breaking into a million tiny pieces
But I’m stuck surrounded by a million voices
They continue with their lively chatter, completely unaware
Because to them, I’m just the girl in red plaid with the blank stare
Sometimes looking out the train that’s quickly rushing
Sometimes looking up the ceiling to keep the tears from falling

There was laughter, no trace of misery
I used to be like that
I was happy
But for now, I am not.
The train stops and I walk out, feeling like I was possessed
Even if my heart didn’t, my feet knew what to do
Every step I take feels like a dagger to my chest
Because every step takes me far away from you
I wanted to break down right there on the subway stairs
But they’ll just think the girl in red plaid has some missing screws in her head
This is my stop,
You won’t be coming by here anymore.
I won’t get to wait for you in my building and see you arriving, already smiling
We won’t find new restaurants to eat at, there’s no more exploring
We won’t watch the sunrise, look at the trees and jog at six in the morning

We shouldn’t.
We can’t.
We won’t.
Years of memories flooded my head during that train ride home
This subway was our line, our connection, the fastest way to get to each other
But it won’t be anymore.
My heart is severely, utterly, irreparably broken
I just lost a piece of my soul
But to the passengers, I was just the girl in red plaid finding her way home. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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