This Is Me Walking Away From Unrequited Love

This Is Me Walking Away From Unrequited Love

I had no idea how to walk away from you. Yet I just did.

I knew this day would come. I’ve feared the day I needed to leave for so long, avoiding heartbreak as long as I could. But I couldn’t do it anymore. And now that I’m here, it’s easier than I expected. No drama, no tears, just numbness. And a hole in my heart where you used to be.

You see, baby, I couldn’t keep it up anymore. I could no longer pretend I didn’t really love you or that I didn’t really care. Because I did. I cared too much. I loved you so much more than I wanted to admit to myself.

I got blindsided by the love I had for you. It caught me by surprise. I didn’t expect to love you. I didn’t expect to fall in love with anyone. You became my unintended. But I wasn’t yours. And you were never mine.

The high hopes I had for the future, the expectations I had for us, never met eye-to-eye with what you wanted. You never shared my hopes, my dreams, my visions of our future together. So I ignored it. I thought you’d come around eventually, that you would grow tired of casual. That you would fall in love with me. But you didn’t.

I watched you dance with strangers. I watched you smile at girls I didn’t know. I pretended I didn’t see, but I did. All the time. Yet I feel oddly at peace imagining you with other women. I convinced myself they didn’t mean anything to you. I convinced myself you weren’t ready for me, when in truth you weren’t ready for anyone.

I knew I had lost you long before I told you I loved you. I lost you the moment you came close to me, when you unintentionally let the final piece of your guard down. I knew then you would leave me, because no one really comes close to you, do they? And when you realized your heart laid open, you shut down.

I wish I could stay here, but I can’t. I can no longer live on crumbs and leftovers. It’s no longer sustainable. I need love, I need care. I need promises you can’t keep. So I finally realized I needed to leave. Right here. Right now. So I did. This is me walking away.

Goodbye, my lover. TC mark

About the author
Certified coach, hypnotherapist and intentional life designer Follow Mette on Instagram or read more articles from Mette on Thought Catalog.

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