He will never love you back because you’re not what he’s looking for. You’re just nice to have for the now because you’re always available. You’re the one before he finds the actual one. You’re the intermission number for the main event. You’re the half-time before the game starts. You’re one of his options but not his priority. You’re his back-up plan.
He invests time in you because he has no one else. He stays with you because you’re willing to make out with him. He pretends to love you because he knows you’ll fall for it. And you did.
You fall for him because he makes you feel like you’re the only one. Well, you are. But that’s until he can find someone else. Not even someone else better. Just someone else. You fall for him because he holds your hand and he intertwines his fingers with yours. You fall for him because he kisses you on the cheek. You fall for him because he makes you laugh. You fall for him because he made you believe. He made you believe you two were meant to be. He made you believe he wanted you. He made you believe he liked your upturned nose. He made you believe he was the one you would walk the altar to.
You’re not stupid. No, you’re not. You thought he was your dream come true. You thought he would be the one save you. And he did. You just thought he would stay. You just thought he would be there for good. You thought your late night McDonald’s runs were good for a lifetime. You just thought. But he knew.
He will never love you back the way you want him to. Because, it turns out, he doesn’t like your upturned nose. He doesn’t like the way your bony fingers feel with his. He doesn’t like the way your lips touch. He’s competitive and he aims for the best. He wants his 100%. And you’re not it. You’re not even close.
So while you wait for him to find someone else, you stay with him. Because who’s to judge you if you’re happy? You’re happy but deep down inside of you, in the tingling sensations of your heart, in the tiniest of the tips of your fingers, you know that the hurt he’s going to leave you with was never worth the happy he made you feel.
There’s no harmless way out of this. One way or another, you’re going to come out scarred. But eventually, you’ll learn that he came and left to make you realize that your true one will only come but will never leave. He will. But only to buy you flowers.
You’ll learn that you are beyond the spaces of a man’s fingers. Because your true one will hold you, and not just your hand. You’ll learn that your true one won’t think you’re 100% because he won’t even stoop down to the level of measuring what you are. You’ll learn that your true one won’t just kiss your cheek but your upturned nose, too. You’ll learn that your true one will make you smile in the quietest of moments, in the loudest of silences. You’ll learn that your true one doesn’t have time to make you believe anything because he’s too busy showing you. You’ll learn that your true one will never make you doubt because there’s nothing to doubt. You’ll learn that your true one won’t think you’re the main event because he’s not just there for the entertainment, for the good times; he’s there for the bad times, too.
You’ll learn that your true one will think he won at the game because he has you. You’ll learn that you’re the one too. You’ll learn that your true one will know. And you will too. You will both know. And he will love you back. Far more than you ever dreamed. And will make you forget that you were ever capable of hurting.