Uncomfortable Signs Your Relationship Has Turned Passive

Seth Doyle

We became lovers. You told me that you liked me because I was pretty but you fell in love with me when you saw my personality. I fell for you too, because you were smart and kind, and that’s all it took for me to think about you.
We became strong. We shared the same interests and we became closer than ever. Due to some circumstances, we can’t tell our friends that we are dating, so you tell them that we are best friends. Yes, it kind of hurt, but we can’t help it—we both are not allowed to be in a relationship during that time. We shared our future plans and both of us are in it.

And we became distant. We used to text and talk every night but it all changed. Not abruptly, but slowly, we became passive of what we feel. When we fail to reply to each other’s texts, we just shrug it off without explanation. When we are about to get into a fight, we don’t talk about it and forget about it. We were both online but nobody attempted to send the first message. Communication became an obligation that it’s hard to keep the conversation going. It was then I realized that we never knew each other—we only knew the nice things. I have always seen the nice in you, but never the ugly ones. Same with you either.

We grew up at our own pace. Not that it was bad that we grew up separately, but the growth that we had was so different that we grew up independently. I don’t know about you, but I started planning my future without you in it. I can no longer see you in the future when I can’t even see you in my present. Communicating became harder and conversations don’t even last for 15 minutes. We both know that we can no longer understand each other, and yet both of us refused to acknowledge it.

And then we fell apart. It was hard to break up with you, but it was for the best. The relationship seemed like non-existent anymore and I don’t want the both of us to be tied in a relationship that we both know that will not last at all. We both can’t also give what the other needs and we can keep a relationship if we can’t keep the communication. It was painful, but one has to let go to grow, and I have to take that leap because it seemed that you were not able to see it all.

This is how we broke up. It was not like other dramatic break ups that one begs the other to stay and there was no ugly crying involved. We broke up because we both know that we have to give each other a chance to face the future—even not together. TC mark

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