Moving On Is An Exhausting Journey

Kristopher Roller
Kristopher Roller

Some days progress looks like a steep incline, a mountain with tantalizing views. You wonder what it will look like at the top, the beautiful sight that will undertake your sight. You will have sweat on your brow, its saltiness on your tongue, your muscles aching under gravity’s weight. Your blood boils under the sun’s heat. But you did it.

You did it even on days you just wanted to retreat, to head back to where it was safe, familiar, easy. But you wanted more.

You wanted to have faith in yourself, to push your body to heights you never attempted to trek before. And soon enough it felt like there was no turning back. There was nothing left behind you, only a desolate, barren area of land where nothing grows, just reminds you of what is no longer there.

So you kept pushing your body to new extremes. It was far from easy, some days you wanted to scream, to howl at the wind for this pain, for this uncertainty. Feeling lost, your mind riddled with confusion.

What if this is not the right path? What if my path was back there? What if I’m going in the wrong direction?

You ran your hands through your hair, you tugged at your clothes, you experienced the burn of the sun and the cold bite of frostbite. You felt uncomfortable to new depths. And you sought an exit, a way to make it back to balance and peace and safety, even if it was a false haven. Even if this haven was dripping with vices, with devils, with old habits that threaten to undo you even as they comfort you with their emptiness. So you trek on, legs trembling, one foot at a time.

Just get through the day, this pain cannot be forever, this cannot go on eternally.

And you just want to free yourself. To change your perspective, to run through the elevation with muscles primed and weathered, with skin tanned from the elements, with a look in your eyes that doesn’t say “Why Me” but “Try Me”. You just want to open your eyes, free your mind, and realize it was never about reaching the top, but learning to enjoy the journey.

Full up uphill battles, full of hidden gardens, full of self-discovery. You were made for this. Keep climbing. TC mark

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