When news hit that Natalie Portman home-wrecked her way into the arms of a ballet dancer, it didn’t have us thinking about infidelity or Swan Lake; rather, girly men.
We can’t be certain Benjamin is of the scented candles and bubble bath variety; for all we know, he pounds Budweiser, watches football, and vanishes at the words “Can we talk?” But there’s a chance (maybe it’s the tights?) that Ben is a stay-at-home and watch Gilmore Girls reruns type of a guy, which can be refreshing.
After a string of Alpha Males it might be nice to have a shopping companion and dedicated listener at your side. Why not? Here’s a handy guide:
Years of dating Hot Masculine Guy Who Forgets To Call may have worn down your ability to place value on sex. Well, you can discard the Tough Girl facade with your new Girly Man.
He likely won’t want to rush sex and will be happy to lie in bed cuddling. He understands the plight of the single woman and will wait until you feel comfortable. He’s extra sensitive to your emotions, and the wait will be well worth it in the end.
2. Take off your shoes.
Be sensitive to his inherent sense of organization, cleanliness, and aesthetics. It’s likely you’ll have to follow his “socks only” househould rule, use a coaster, and help him tidy up. Hey, at least you won’t have to worry about something rotting in his fridge.
3. Don’t be jealous of all his female friends.
If he’s a true Girly Man, it’s likely he has a harem of pretty female friends always writing on his Facebook wall and commenting on his every whim. Resist the urge for envy.
It’s likely he’s never slept with any of them — or tried, even. Girly Men tend to attract women like bears to honey. What girl doesn’t want a platonic male friend who isn’t trying to bed her? It’s like all the best things about having a gay friend plus the inside intelligence of straight guy mind.
4. Don’t tell him you thought he was gay.
Your Girly Man has been getting the “Are you gay?” question since he packed a crust-less PBJ into his lunchbox and hopped on the school bus. It isn’t a nice world out there for the effeminate straight guy, so don’t follow the pack and giggle about how you thought he was a homosexual on dates one through five.
5. Don’t make fun of his need to primp.
Girly Men tend to notice details when it comes to clothing and grooming. He probably has an impeccable closet, and he likely knows as much about face cream as you. No need to point and laugh at his “me time” with the mirror. Instead, be happy you’re with a guy who takes care of himself. Just treat his apartment like a waiting room and bring a book.
6. Don’t try to set him up on “boy dates.”
As per #4, he may not have a lot of bros on his recent cell phone call log. He’s aware of this, and unless he complains about the lack of testosterone, don’t set up play dates like an overbearing mother. Just don’t.