While we know our society is ripe with stereotypes, we just hope for a day when a blogger like Funky Brown Chick won’t have to write a list titled “How To Date A Black Woman” to quiet all those who incessantly ask her. Last time we checked, a black woman was still a woman.
We’re guessing the men who ask this probably don’t have much of a clue with any race. (But that’s just a guess.)
As much as we wish nationality wasn’t such an issue in dating, you’d be shocked how often we hear this type of thing too. Even in passing. And while this is specifically geared toward black women, you could certainly cut and paste any race that isn’t yours into these tips. That is, if you’re feeling uneasy…
Get your pencils ready folks, number 1’s a doozy:
1. Ask her out.
Funky Brown Chick says, “If you’ve never dated a black woman before and you’d like to ask someone out, simply say something like: ‘Hey, are you free on Friday? Maybe we could be grab coffee or drinks or something?’ Yep, my sweeties, it’s that easy.”
Touché! Attracted to a woman? Ask her out. How novel. Got that fellas?
2. Don’t pretend you’re black.
This one’s embarrassing, but some poor misguided folks have dated Funky Brown Chick and morphed into a walking, talking Black Appreciation Parade. Don’t say dorky things like “Black women have more flava” or bust into a freestyle rap.
3. Be truthful.
She says it’s okay to cop to never dating a black chick if you want. But don’t (and this should be a rule when dating anyone) pretend you are looking for something serious when really all you want is to add Black Woman (or whatever race) to your sex resume.
“There are plenty of places and opportunities to do that,” she says. “Place a Craigslist ad. Look into race-play communities.”
4. Be open-minded.
She cautions against sticking your foot in your mouth when faced with a differing opinion. Again, this could be a general dating tip, but when in the company of a different race it’s only natural to have an opposing opinion when discussing certain topics.
She says, “When dating someone from a background other than your own, be prepared to brush up against ideas that may or may not run counter to your beliefs. In that case, resist the urge to think your way is automatically ‘right’ and theirs is ‘different’ (read: ‘wrong’). You might learn something new.”
5. See her as a woman first.
Try to avoid seeing this as some sort of racial science experiment. You’re on a date, remember, with another human being, remember. Relax.
“I could be completely loony and totally off base with this,” she says. “But I think most people want to be cherished/loved/cared for/desired/etc. for who THEY are. Spend a little time getting to know her. Act like it’s a, you know, DATE.”