We are a generation very clearly obsessed with brunch. Sunday brunch is “our thing” and it’s not worth attending if it isn’t both boozy and bottomless. But we aren’t just here for the fancy French toast, cheap champagne, or the endless amount of eggs benedict; we’re here to mull over the details of last night, to gab about all the gossip we’ve heard lately and, when the mimosas get to our heads, we are here to talk each other through the intricacies of life. Because, believe it or not, boozy brunch is actually therapy.
1. You did something the night before that you immediately regretted when you woke up this morning. Your first move is to get everyone together for brunch, where you can sit down and discuss the events of last night…while you simultaneously drown your sorrows in syrup.
2. If you’ve ever had any version of “circle time” in kindergarten where you all sit around and talk about your feelings or whatever, well that’s a lot what brunch is like. Except with alcohol.
3. Once you get drunk and angry enough to start spewing hate about your ex boyfriend, your friends will rally around you and tell you, in unison, what an asshole he is and how you’re so much better off without him. Also, did you see his new girlfriend!? You are SO much prettier than her. You will cry drunk, happy tears because, in that very moment, you have the best friends ever. Boom. Therapy.
4. Brunch is a “safe place” where you can always expect a no judgment zone. If you happen to show up in last night’s dress with your mascara smudged all over your face, then so be it!
5. You made sure to reserve the table by the window because of the natural light. It’s so much more relaxing and therapeutic (and better for pictures, obviously.) Now you can fully bask in the magic that is brunch.
6. Your friends respect the rules of confidentiality. They won’t snap cute photos of you or tag you at brunch when you’re actually supposed to be at someone’s baby shower.
7. Brunch is a sacred space where you’re free to discuss your greatest downfalls, failures, successes, hopes, and dreams. You know that everyone surrounding you is always supportive.
8. You made a new friend and want to invite them to brunch. You are first obligated to check with your most trusted confidants (brunch crew.) Afterward, they will provide you with detailed reviews of said new friend, analyzing his/her overall character based on the past few hours of interaction.
9. You’re a hungover hot mess. Last night you lost your cell phone, car keys, and possibly your dignity. You need brunch to reevaluate your life and get all of these things back, especially your cell phone, which hopefully one of your friends has.
10. Your boozy brunch buzz has you pining to call/text the one person you promised yourself, and your friends, you wouldn’t speak to. Even though that promise was made 10 minutes ago, your friends will collectively remind you that this person is toxic and has no place in your life anymore. They’re really good at that. They’re also really good at taking and hiding your phone, if necessary.
11. You leave brunch feeling ecstatic and rejuvenated, like a huge weight has been lifted. Or maybe that’s just the champagne. Either way, you feel great!