Don’t Be Afraid To Fuck It All Up

Pietra Schwarzler / Unsplash

I’m turning 30 later this week, and in those 30 years the most obvious lesson has been – I have no true control. I prepare, go over each possibility, make decisions and choices, yet things rarely go as intended.

I mean big things – life things – not grocery trips or Saturday nights. I’m talking about major moments – relationships and careers, five-year plans and goals; those are Life Situations and rarely do they play out as we envisioned. I have experienced this time after time and by accepting it, I’ve found the importance of fucking up. When I welcome the Fuck Up, I begin plunging into life – living in any other way is a waste of time, energy, and experience. Dive in headfirst, without expectations and don’t be afraid to fuck it up! When we embrace the Fuck Up, we find freedom. Freedom from stress, expectations and ultimately, disappointment.

Fuck ups lead to finding our soulmates unexpectedly. Fuck ups guide us to paths we are meant to be on, even if they are less traveled.

When we disregard doubt and fuck things up, we are left with things we never dreamed to wish for. We discover sides we didn’t know we had and learn crucial lessons – the sort of lessons which wrap your psyche and alter your journey.

By dreading the Fuck Up, we hold ourselves back, miss opportunities, and self-sabotage. Certainly, we’re living on the safe side and undoubtedly taking the softer approach, though where’s the fun in that? Give me the scenic route with hidden caves. I want growth and surprise! Let go of the wheel, because despite all of our efforts, we have little control.

I went back to school despite the belief I’d fuck it up; I succeeded, and am now on my ideal career path.

Giving up alcohol and drugs scared the crap out of me! I was afraid I’d fuck up and disappoint everyone I loved – 4.5 years later, I’m still sober and surrounded by trust. Furthermore, I was terrified I’d lose myself without whiskey, instead, I found Me (bonus, I met my soul mate in rehab).

I constantly fear I’ll seriously fuck up in my writing, but I know I would always regret not trying. Therefore, I continue to write, no matter how uncomfortable it may be.

I fucked up and remained in a relationship with a bad guy, after picking up the pieces of my broken heart I discovered my self-worth (life’s too short to date a douchebag).

Thanks to all the times I let fear win, I understand the significance of believing in oneself, no matter what.

Miss Frizzle knew what she was talking about when she told us to take chances and make mistakes! Learn to trust the process rather than reject it. Fuck it up, fuck it all up – whatever it may look like for you. Take a job you’re underqualified for. Go back to school. Chase your passion! Find what excites you and build your life around it. The new relationship which makes your heart pound like never before – Don’t fear it! Even broken hearts lead to an abundance of self-discovery. That’s what life is about; discovering our authentic selves, by allowing life to organically unfold.

When we fuck things up, we end up somewhere entirely different than we expected, however, 9 out of 10 times it’s precisely where we ought to be, and we wouldn’t go back if we could. Fuck it up, I’ll meet you on the other side, where our authentic selves thrive and fear no longer holds us back. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.

Keep up with Melissa on Instagram, Twitter and

More From Thought Catalog