To My Brother, Who Left This Earth Too Soon

Lucy Maude Ellis
Lucy Maude Ellis

For my late brother, Daniel Ingram
August 24, 1993 – November 23, 2015

I yelled at you today.
No, you weren’t around to hear it.
But it didn’t matter.

I was fast asleep in my warm bed, and you came to me in a dream. Your head was no longer smashed. You were standing too, glowing like the sun. You smiled and laughed, because you didn’t know. I don’t remember what happened next.

Dreams are like that – random, fleeting.

A lot like my emotions as a teenager, dating boys who simply wanted to use me. Oh, how you hated them. You were younger than me, but that didn’t mean you didn’t feel responsible for my heart’s well-being. Like the time I screamed into a humid August night laced with gnats, upset with one of these boys. He was no man, in fact, you were more of a man than him, seven years his junior, and you called mom to come over, save my soul, scared for my sanity. That’s something mom lost the day we saw you; cold, unmoving, no longer among the living.

She hasn’t been the same since you left us behind.

I say you got lucky, went up to meet the Lord before us. Of course, sometimes that feels like a lie.

I yelled at you today.
You’re no longer around to hear it.
But I’ll just go ahead and believe you did anyway. TC mark


More From Thought Catalog

blog comments powered by Disqus