Thought Catalog

6 Reasons Why The Settled Down Life Scares The Hell Out Of You

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Kolby Schnelli
Kolby Schnelli

There you go.

You face life through its vast continents. You learn to live. You accept the latest version of yourself. In fact, you love it. You are amazed by this life, these cultural twists and these places you chose. Time flies. Your relatives ask you when you are coming back. COMING BACK? The mere idea of coming back makes you gag. You can salivate as much as you want thinking about food… But, that’s about it; you might throw up now. A normal life? A settled down life? With the big house with double garage, the nice car and a cute little family? What works so well for others doesn’t suit your big stack of dreams. You can surprise yourself fantasizing with the idea of coming back… for good? They can continue to dream. You are actually dreaming about different places where you see yourself with a full passport, an atypical house, the old campervan and that other traveller.

The more your trip is getting longer, the more the little stable life scares you.

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1. Routine kills you. Changes make you feel alive.

You needed change. You wanted to see the world. Through your travels, you realize how big the world is and how tiny you are. The world is simply too big to stay rooted in one place.

The 9 to 5 life makes you depressed. You need challenges and you should change jobs every year if you had to be contented in a “stay-still mode”. Life in a box is boring for a rounded person like you. You don’t want to be a survivor again. You want to make the most of this life.

You are curious. You are craving adventure. You don’t give a sh*t about a material life. You excel in the art of appreciating small pleasures and you’ve got a master at enjoying a life without extras. No fluffy crap. No confetti. No fake sparkling flake. You know how to turn your life into an adventure. And you can see yourself on your death bed simply smiling and thinking of all these great stories of yours.

2. You need that stimulation dose.

While you’re on the road, every day is a new challenge. You meet new people, you dip a bit deeper in this new culture and you know the joy felt when you discover a new place. It’s all about newness. You say yes out loud to this stimulation hit. You get a crush on every nation. You fall in love every day.

You are addicted to novelty. You’re obsessed with the world map. And that’s not a bad addiction. You can’t have enough of that feeling when your feet turn into roots. Besides, when you drop your bag somewhere for a while, your feet tickle you until you leave. You need to stay stimulated. You’re overwhelmed of fantasies and international wishes.

3. You don’t want to be that “normal” person again.

That life seems to be a far distant memory. In fact, this memory feels like it doesn’t even belong to you. You’re proud of who you are now and you know that coming back could cause some collateral damage. Although you miss some of them, you have learned to live your independence and you don’t feel as much a sense of belonging anymore. The stimulations have stolen their spot.

You prefer juggling between independence and freedom. You have made that decision a while ago as your status, your diploma and your salary won’t make you a better person. You stepped out of the box. And you realized how this land was unexplored.

4. You still don’t know what you would do if you went back.

Coming back… to do what? You have so many new skills. Your resume is lined with exotic and diverse interests. You know what you don’t want to do, but you still don’t know what you’d like to do. Then you realize that a return to the reality suggests that you should do something. You have to do something with your life. The society (and possibly your family) asks you about your plans, about your ambitions.

There you go. The interrogation. Your worst enemy.

And they wonder why you are dreaming of frolicking through these different scenes of the world.

Because seriously, no. This is not an ambition.

5. You don’t even know what to tell people who ask you questions.

While they whip you with all their questions, you just don’t know what to say. The truth is that we can’t predict the future. Or at least, I can’t. I don’t know where I will be tomorrow. I don’t know where I will be next month. I don’t know where I will be in 10 years. However, I know where I’d love to be; probably somewhere in South America or Asia, debt-free and enjoying every small parcel of happiness in children’s eyes. I would love to simply be a volunteer. And offer a smile to those who are worth the joy. And perhaps I’ll be there with you, who knows?

You dream of a life where you don’t have to give an explanation. Where you can simply go with the flow without having to count on your bank account. Without having to prove that your dreams are actually a large collection of ambitions.

While they want to hold you in their arms, you apprehend that awkward moment. You’d like to be as happy as them. But if you dare to admit the truth, they might take it the wrong way. They may bombard you with this useless interrogation again. Why bother to waste time answering questions if they are full of judgments from people who simply don’t understand. They think they know what is best for you. But, they don’t. So, you will make sure to avoid these delicate conversations.

6. No matter how much you try, you might leave again.

You come back. To leave again. You come back so they know you love them. The society doesn’t accept that you could leave with no desire to come back. The government begs you to come back by limiting your time overseas and by taking back your citizenship. While you are gallivanting with your passport and an expiration date, you know that you have to come back. The world chose how you should live your life. And you made your choice too.
You’ll be back temporarily or permanently. You left crumbs behind you and you have managed to bring more than what was allowed.

To those who’ll stay; you’ll probably discover a new adventure through love or through your future family. Because I’m sure it’s a great adventure too.

To those who’ll leave again; I’ll be glad to meet you somewhere through our adventures around the world.

Or at least until one of us decides it’s time to settle down somewhere on the map. TC mark

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