5 Reasons You Shouldn’t Date Your Best Friend

Friends: The Complete Series
Friends: The Complete Series

1. Your future-person should be willing to put in the effort to learn your ways and what makes you tick.

Your best friend knows you inside and out, nearly immediately. This can be detrimental to a potential relationship, seeing as you had a go at one of his frat bros last summer… And his colleague the summer before that.

2. Your future-person’s gaze should feel familiar and strange all at the same time.

Your best friend is able to peer into the deepest and darkest corners of your soul. Including that one time in Tahoe.

3. Your future-person should be capable of bringing new and exciting ideas into your life.

Your best friend is the one you want to sit around with, at 2:00AM on a Saturday, wondering how many episodes of Orange is the New Black you can watch together before passing out from your Dr. Pepper-induced sugar coma.

4. You should lust after your future-person in ways that will burn through the night and into the day.

Your best friend is the one you’ve been platonically making out with in      bathrooms at every party you’ve both gone to single. (And then helping realize that you’re both pretty awful kissers when you’re drunk.)

5. You should feel comfortable and safe with your future-person, but not feel that your happiness depends on them.

Your best friend is the one you fight with and immediately turn into a bumbling, ice-cream-eating idiot who begs for forgiveness because you called him a ratchet ass ho, and meant it.

I’m all for you lucky fuckers who married their bff straight out of high school and haven’t looked back.

But you heartbroken lovers, the ones who had nowhere to turn but to a best friend…the ones who assumed that because they knew their best friend inside and out…that that is what makes a life mate: I’m sorry. Your best friend is also a hopelessly romantic douche who should not have taken advantage of your heartbreak and should not have insinuated that building a relationship on pre-existing best friendship was a good idea. It is with earnest that I hope you don’t let your best friend take advantage of you. Just because you had a great friendship does not mean you shouldn’t let go of your relationshit.

As for myself?

I want to try, with gusto, to learn all there is to know about my future person. I want him (or her) to feel, when I look at him (or her) that they’re the only one I see in that particular way… Because I don’t know their deep, dark bad. I want to enjoy the time I spend with my future person, but also know that we’re individuals and that my favorite graphic novel isn’t going to be his (or her) cup of tea. Or that, heaven forbid, coffee isn’t his (or her) cup of tea. I want to feel it in my bones that I can strip my future person down to his (or her) bare ass and wake up in the morning wanting more. I want to want a life with my future person, but not need it. TC Mark

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