A Letter To The Love Of My Life From My Depression

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She’ll have good days. She’ll have okay days. And she’ll have bad days.

Always remember, you didn’t do anything wrong.

It’s me actually. I’m the one messing her up and I’m sorry you got caught in the middle. She’s not mad at you. She didn’t mean to yell at you. She’s not ignoring you on purpose.

We’re just having a bad day but don’t worry because she knows how to handle me.

Just let her handle me, okay?

You don’t have to go to the other room, you can stay. She wants you to stay.

I want you to stay.

You make it easier for her to deal with me. She told me.

You calm her down, which in turn calms me down. Sometimes I get out of control, sometimes I’m beside myself and I just want to cry. But when I cry, she cries. I’m sorry I made her cry. I just can’t help it, everything is so dark. Everything is too much to handle. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I’m scared. I don’t mean to scare her too. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to hurt her but better me than you right?

She keeps telling me I’m scaring you away. Am I? Will you tell me?

She’s trying so hard. She’ll wake up better tomorrow, I promise. I hope.

Just sit with her. Talk to her like it’s a good day. Tell her about your day. Make her laugh, tell her one of those stupid jokes you always tell her. Kiss her like you always do. You love her on her good days. You love her on her okay days. Don’t forget to love her on her bad days.

Always remember, she doesn’t love you any less on her bad days.

So, please don’t leave her.

Please don’t leave us. TC mark

I’m getting my MFA in Fiction.

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