I get it.
Work on being happy with single life. Live your best life. Achieve your ambitions. Travel. Have adventures. That’s the advice frequently being shared to those of us who are single. I totally agree. We’ve worked on that. We are fulfilled even though we don’t have a partner.
The majority of the guidance available reassures us we don’t need a man to be happy. We should make the most of being on our own. Use our single status to our advantage. It’s true. We don’t need a man to make us happy. We are perfectly able to create our own happiness. I don’t dispute that.
We can do what we want, when we want with who we want. We can be selfish. We can come and go as we please. We don’t have to think about anyone else’s wants and needs. Life is good!
The one thing that becomes much more challenging if we are single is fulfilling our desire to become a mother. For those of us who want to have a baby, being single is an issue. It’s not about needing a man to complete us. It’s needing a man to procreate with.
It’s pretty tricky to try for a baby if you have no access to sperm! It’s an essential ingredient. But we don’t want any old sperm. For most single women who want a baby, there is a desire to try to conceive in a loving relationship with a partner who we trust.
How do we find one of those? When our biological clocks are loudly ticking away, it can be hard to think straight. It’s tough to make rational decisions. It’s extremely challenging to be our best selves on a date when we feel like our time is running out. If we don’t meet someone pretty soon, motherhood may pass us by.
The question is, is it essential to meet someone in order to have a baby, or are there other options?
To take control of the situation, there are a few things we can do.
1. Take a fertility MOT test
That feeling of just not knowing whether you have any specific fertility issues can eat you up inside. The thought of finally meeting someone and then having difficulty conceiving as you have left it so late is anxiety inducing. It’s the feeling of being completely in the dark that can be difficult to deal with.
Rather than wasting time wondering, there are some simple checks you can undertake to give yourself a clearer picture. Your doctor can carry them out for you or you can go to a fertility clinic. It is even possible to do these tests from the comfort of your own home using a home testing kit.
The results will not give you a complete picture of your fertility, but are a great starting point to provide you with valuable insight, so that you can make a more informed decision about your next steps.
2. Freeze your eggs
If you aren’t in the position to try for a baby right now, the next best thing could be to freeze your eggs for use at a later date. As a woman, your chances of conceiving naturally decline as you get older because the quality and number of your eggs drop with age. Egg freezing is an action you can take to attempt to preserve your fertility.
The procedure involves collecting your eggs—the younger, the better, while they are of better quality. They are then frozen and preserved. When you are ready to have a baby at a later date, you can thaw the eggs and use them in fertility treatment. This is advantageous as your egg quality may have declined. In some ways, it is like being your own egg donor, hopefully giving you a better chance of getting pregnant.
Freezing your eggs can give you more time to meet a suitable partner without the worry that your eggs are dropping in number and quality.
It is no guarantee that you will be able to have children later in life though. If you are considering this, you should ensure you have done your research to check it is the right option for you.
3. Consider solo motherhood
If you’re ready for children and feel like your time is running out to meet a man to conceive naturally with you can consider starting the journey to solo motherhood using a sperm donor. This is not a decision to take lightly by any means, but it is an option that is available. There are different fertility treatments available depending on your age and your test result. The best first step is to talk to a fertility clinic about the most suitable options for you.