25 Micro Lies Even The Happiest Couples Tell Each Other Sometimes

Brandon Woelfel

1. When you’re running late so the only reasonable answer to “Do I look okay?” is a resounding “YES!” even if that’s not at all the case because otherwise you’ll never get out the door on time.

2. When your significant other asks for your opinion on something and it’s past the point of no return—an email or a text that’s already been sent, for instance—so you reassure them that it was exactly what they should’ve said.

3. When your boyfriend or girlfriend goes out of their way to buy you a little gift and it’s not at all something you want or need (in fact, you consider it a total waste of money), but you act delighted because you know it’s not something that can be returned (like a trinket from a business trip to a faraway place, or a cupcake from the bakery across town).

4. Whey they cook you dinner and they’re obviously pleased with the way it turned out so you tell them, gleefully, that the meal is delicious and you clear your plate just to corroborate that (totally false) claim.

5. When they’re sick and they ask if they look terrible and you tell them it’s not THAT bad but it definitely is.

6. When your boyfriend or girlfriend is dressed in dirty, crappy sweats and they ask if you think they’re sexy like that and you say “OF COURSE!” even if you’re not exactly inspired to jump their bones.

7. When they ask what you were fantasizing about the last time you touched yourself and you claim it’s ALWAYS them because you want them to think they’re the star of every sexual thought you’ve ever had—even the ones before you met, which is impossible, but whatever.

8. When they ask if you’re in the mood for [insert cuisine] and they’re so obviously enthusiastic about their suggestion that you just go with it.

9. When they ask if you want to do some weird activity and you say yes because if you don’t, they’ll ask someone else and you’d rather get the time together.

10. When they ask if you’re jealous and you say yes (even if you’re totally not) because you know it will make them feel a little bit better about themselves.

11. When they ask if you really like (not just “heart” or “thumbs up”) their latest post on social and you confirm that you do because saying that you don’t would be pointless and borderline rude.

12. When you’re soooo bored by the movie they made you watch but you claim to kind-of like it because you don’t want to taint their experience of the film they’re obviously enjoying.

13. When your eyes are heavy and you’ve been nodding off for the last ten minutes but they ask if you’re asleep and you say NO because that’s just how people tend to respond to sleep allegations for some strange reason.

14. When your significant other has an exceptional day and you tell them you did too because you just don’t want to bring them down, even though your day was more than kind-of crappy.

15. When they ask if you’re up for one more drink and you’re definitely not but you push through because you can sense that they need the night out.

16. When they ask for your opinion of their closest relatives so you put some frills on your actual insights because saying negative things about anyone else’s nearest and dearest usually backfires.

17. When your boyfriend or girlfriend asks whether you think someone in your day-to-day life is fuckable and you know it’s wise to say “no” even if your loins are telling you otherwise.

18. When they pose the am-I-as-sexy-as-[insert hot AF celebrity] question and you reassure them that in your eyes they’re way way way more attractive because that’s the decent thing to do.

19. When your boyfriend or girlfriend wonders aloud whether or not you’d be together, had you met ten years earlier, and you reassure them that of course you would’ve fallen in love no matter what, even though you know that’s a totally unrealistic assumption.

20. When your significant other asks if they’re the best sex you’ve ever had and deep within you can’t help recollecting that one passionate night from back in the day with an ex lover but you tell them, in your most sincere voice, that they are BY FAR the best in bed of anyone you’ve ever been with.

21. When your boyfriend or girlfriend asks if you’d be into [insert super kinky activity that kind-of makes you cringe] one day and you reply that you’ll “never say never” because the future you is willing to promise just about anything in vague enough hypothetical terms.

22. When they ask you if you’ve ever faked an orgasm with them and you obviously tell them you’d never do such a thing even if you have on occasion (just to speed things up, or give them an ego boost or whatever).

23. When your significant other says something idiotic in a public setting and later asks if their social flub was really that bad and you tell them it wasn’t because telling them the truth would just make them feel bad.

24. When they’ve definitely been swindled and spent too much on an item but you let them believe they got “a deal” because it’s good for their self-esteem and you don’t have it in you to slash their hopes and dreams in that exact moment.

25. When they announce that they’re setting some major life goal and you know in your heart that the chances of them reaching said lofty objective are pretty slim but you act as if it’s a real possibility that they’ll achieve it anyway because you’re a supportive mother fucker and not an asshole. TC mark

Mélanie Berliet

I adore the following, in no particular order: knee-high tube socks, acrostic poetry, and my little brother. Click here to learn more!

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