1. They spend crazy amounts of time cleaning up after other people, not because their friends and relatives are particularly sloppy, but because they just can’t stand the sight of a rogue crumb or a misplaced bowl.
2. While they’re busy re-arranging cupboards and organizing closets, the rest of the world is having a blast doing other stuff.
3. Since a lot of life’s most fun activities involve getting messy, which stresses a neat freak out, they often miss out.
4. Going to the bathroom in public is an absolute nightmare for them. They’d rather hold their bladder than squat over a toilet sprayed with tiny droplets of strangers’ pee.
5. Cooking any delicious food that splatters, like bacon, is too much of a nuisance to them to bother.
6. They can’t prepare ANY food without sponging the countertops down incessantly.
7. To them, laundry pile-ups are scarier than the movie It.
8. Improperly folded clothing is yet more of a horror show. They probably spend more time re-folding clothes in an average month than most people do in a lifetime.
9. In their view, kids are cute, but not really cute enough to justify the messes they make.
10. Ditto to pets.
11. They spend lots of time wondering why anyone would voluntarily house an animal, let alone pick its poop up or clean its clumpy litter box.
12. They definitely don’t understand the pleasure inherent in finger foods.
13. Or the satisfying part about getting super sweaty during a good workout.
14. They believe that books and closets should be color coordinated.
15. They definitely think you’re a slob. But instead of telling you this, they’ll just start rearranging things and cleaning up whenever they come over.
16. They’re literally ALWAYS handing you a napkin.
17. Or offering you a tissue.
18. They won’t let you eat breakfast in bed—ever.
19. They don’t understand why you won’t let go of that tattered sweatshirt you’ve loved to literal shreds.
20. Or why you’d even WANT a sip of their water when you could just go get a fresh glass of your own.
21. Staining their shirt will put an abrupt end to any fun night out for them.
22. When they’re not tidying up, they’re definitely off somewhere washing their hands.
23. Every other study seems to prove that intelligent people are messy anyway.