1. Most of them have super short haircuts, but it’s not a gender identity thing for them, like at all.
2. They reject the notion of separate girls’ and boys’ bathrooms entirely, choosing to poop and pee in their pants freely instead.
3. They all cry like crazy without worrying about being viewed as too feminine.
4. In fact, they express all emotions—glee, laughter, anger, sadness, confusion—without any fear of seeming too girly or boyish.
5. None of them are at all concerned about body hair, and what it may or may not mean if they do or don’t shave their legs, armpits, back, or beard.
6. They’re not caught up in looks AT ALL. Rash on the face? Poop on the paws? Food on the forehead? Don’t care.
7. They’re the most body confident people on the planet.
8. In fact, their chubby cheeks, legs, buns, bellies, etc. tend to inspire joy in others, probably because they project so much darn confidence.
9. They honestly don’t mind whether you dress them in denim overalls, a cotton dress, a pink onesie, or green pants and a plaid shirt, as long as they’re comfortable.
10. As a general policy, they don’t slut shame anyone—not even that one friend from playgroup who always runs around naked, refusing to put clothes on.
11. They respect and appreciate breasts, but purely for functional reasons. If they’re gawking at a woman’s chest, it’s with the best of intentions.
12. They’re not hung up on table manners or acting “ladylike” or “proper,” no matter the setting.
13. They never hold in a burp or a fart or spare you from watching them drool just because you’re attractive and they want to make a good impression.
14. They’re completely uninterested in nail care. If you want their claws clipped, you’ll have to do it yourself.
15. Ditto to bathing, and grooming in general. Maintaining appearances is a secondary concern to eating, breathing, pooping, and sleeping—because they’ve got their priorities straight, obviously.
16. They giggle a lot, but never EVER because they’re trying to flirt by feigning amusement. If they’re cracking up, it’s because they actually think that silly face or noise you’re making is hilarious.
17. They’ll take the toy they want right out of anyone’s hands or pinch a friend without entertaining some internal debate over whether or not they’ll be perceived as “uppity” or “bitchy” for their behavior.
18. They constantly toss balls and other random objects without ever wondering if people will accuse them of throwing “like a girl.”
19. They all earn exactly the same wage: zero dollars an hour.
20. They treat everyone equally because they genuinely don’t care if you have a penis or a vagina as long as you’re willing to tend to their basic needs while you’re around.
21. They can honestly claim that they respect vaginas and that they know how to navigate them, having literally just come out of one.