1. “Of course everyone should be able to masturbate all they want, but if anyone other than your partner is present when you orgasm, it’s cheating in my mind. No happy endings, no prostitutes. If my husband can manage to enjoy a lap dance without coming in his pants, I guess I’d be okay with that, but otherwise I’d have a problem with it. That sperm is mine.”

— Sara, 25

2. “Some women seem really threatened by their husband’s porn habit, but you can’t cheat with a screen. Cheating requires inappropriate contact with another human being. In fact, I encourage my husband to watch all the X-rated videos he wants. I figure he’s less likely to prowl outside the house and get all touchy-feely with a stranger if he busts a nut watching bimbos fake shriek whenever he feels like it.”

— Violet, 27

3. “I think of cheating as a purely physical thing. I’m not one of those women who makes her husband unfriend all his exes. I don’t really care if my husband nurtures close friendships with other women, as long as he doesn’t touch them. Anywhere. Not even over their clothes. Hopefully social media gives him the flirtation fix he needs. That’s the beauty of the Internet—it fosters intimacy with a healthy amount of distance.”

— Jenna, 20

4. “Pornography, strippers, and any fantasy that doesn’t star me are all off the table. If another person is directly or indirectly responsible for a man’s orgasm, he’s not being faithful. You shouldn’t have to picture another woman naked let alone see her dance naked or watch other people go at it to be sexually satisfied. Man and wife should be enough for each other, plain and simple.”

— Chloe, 22

5. “My husband and I have a don’t-ask-don’t-tell policy. If you’re confident enough in your relationship, you shouldn’t have to worry about your partner leaving you for someone else, even if they’re having sex outside the marriage. Our deal is based on our shared view of what loyalty entails: Play all you want, just don’t get caught.”

— Harriet, 34

6. “I’m way more sexual than my husband, so I’m not at all worried about him cheating on me. I’m way more concerned that I’ll end up straying. The rule I’ve set for myself is that as long as I can have no-strings-attached, unemotional sex with other guys, it’s fine. The second it feels like I’m bonding with another man on more than an animalistic, get-laid level, I’ll pull back. At least that’s the plan.”

— Melinda, 23

7. “Being unfaithful means climaxing in any scenario that doesn’t involve your wife at all. I just want to be included. So I have sex with my husband almost every single day, and not because I have a crazy strong libido. It’s a preventative measure. I get my husband off regularly so he isn’t tempted to exclude me. It’s kind of an exhausting strategy, but it’s worth it.”

— Josie, 26

8. “My husband and I agree that it isn’t cheating unless there’s penetration. Anything else is forgivable. That way we can have our fun without worrying about unwanted pregnancies.”

— Amanda, 29

9. “I’d say any sexual activity that takes place in real life outside the marriage is cheating. Caressing, kissing, and obviously oral sex and intercourse fall under that umbrella. I don’t mind if my husband wants to dirty talk with a stranger online in some chat room, though. He can even hire a cam girl to do weird stuff pop a balloon with her bare ass or whatever, as long as he doesn’t burn through too much cash.”

— Willow, 24

10. “I think it’s inappropriate for a married man to be intimate with another woman, physically or emotionally. I don’t even want my hubby confiding in anyone else. If he wants to get deep, he should do it with me, or a trained professional.”

— Faith, 25

11. “In my mind, fidelity is all about not crossing whatever lines you establish as a couple. The understanding I have with my husband is that neither of us will do anything we don’t want the other person to see. If a situation becomes something we wouldn’t want the other person to witness, we retreat. You have to love and trust each other enough to make the right calls.”

— Domino, 21

12. “It’s ridiculous to expect someone, male or female, to stop wanting to sleep with other people just because they’re married. Staying faithful is an ongoing challenge for both parties. Flirting with other people is a healthy way for everyone to keep themselves from going too far. The second you’re naked with another person, you’ve gone too far.”

— Alessa, 31

13. “I feel bad for the women who tie leashes around their husbands’ necks. Trapping a man will only make him want to break free. If you give him a little slack, on the other hand—to got to a strip club or to watch whatever raunchy porn he wants or to sext with an ex—he’s far less likely to cheat. I plan to give my man room to breathe, and in exchange I expect him to keep his dick in his pants except when I’m around.”

— Betty, 27

14. “I’m a jealous person and my husband knows that about me. If he even checks another woman out while I’m around, I can’t stand it. But I don’t have a wild imagination. If I don’t have to see it, it’s like it didn’t happen—not that I’d ever tell him that. Regardless, as long as he keeps his eyes on me and his hands to himself when I’m around, everything’s all good.”

— Zoe, 32