10 Women Confess The Most Embarrassing (But Educational) Thing That’s Happened To Them During Sex

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darkred_photography

“Queafing is a reality, but it’s not a reality people like to acknowledge until they’re well into dating. As a college freshman, during my one-night-stand streak, I was hooking up with this guy from my creative writing workshop—an intellectual type who dressed well and always had insightful feedback—and I queafed in his face while he was eating me out. Instead of pretending it didn’t happen, he stopped, looked up, and laughed—at me, not with me. That’s when it really hit home that smart, well spoken guys can be assholes too.”

— Nancy, 25

beetlejuice

“When I was sixteen, I vomited on my boyfriend’s dick while I was going down on him. We were dating pretty seriously, so he was nice about it. But I was mortified. I cried for the entire ride home but we’d used all the tissues in his car to wipe the puke off his dick so the tears just streamed down my cheeks. That’s how I learned that you have to pay attention to your gag reflex. And use your hands whenever you can.”

— Steph, 22

beetlejuice

“I was 25 when the guy I was seeing started sucking on my nipples really hard while we were fucking. It was insane, how good it felt. I came ridiculously fast—within seconds, probably—which was totally embarrassing. But I’m glad it happened because now I know that my nipples are like two little pink guaranteed orgasm buttons. I fully exploit how sensitive they are—while masturbating, and during sex.”

— Winnie, 28

beetlejuice

“Once I was having sex with this hot older guy in my dorm room and I had a pretty bad cold, but I pretended to be really into it because I wanted him to like me. I did what I had to to avoid sneezing mid-fuck. But when we switched positions and I ended up on top, no amount of sniffling could stop my nose from running onto his chest. When he realized what’d happened, he looked at me like I was suddenly revolting. We kept having sex, but it sucked. It seemed weird that the guy who’d been licking my vaginal juices twenty minutes earlier was turned off by a little snot, but I guess sex juices are more palatable than whatever else we humans excrete.”

— Olivia, 24

beetlejuice

“The first time a guy stuck his finger up my butthole, I was totally shocked. My immediate reaction was to scream, ‘Wrong hole!’ In response, he actually pet me and said, ‘Sweetie, I’m just trying to teach you a little something. Trust me.’ It was so creepy and condescending. I’m cringing just thinking about it, but now I’m more embarrassed about choosing to be with such an arrogant prick than about what went down. Anyway, that’s how I learned that you definitely don’t have to be a gay man to enjoy anal play.”

— Alexa, 23

beetlejuice

“I gave my first blowjob to a guy I met on the beach the summer after sophomore year in high school. This was in the day of dial up—way before Internet porn was widely accessible—so I had no idea what the whole thing was supposed to look like. I assumed I was supposed to blow the guy’s dick, obviously, but I quickly figured out that that wasn’t really possible, let alone effective. The guy I was ‘blowing’ blew me away when he said, ‘Just suck on it,’ which turned out to be the best advice ever. Lesson learned! I’ve watched a few Jenna Jameson videos since, so I really know my shit.”

— Myra, 34

beetlejuice

“When I was in high school, I started seeing a guy who was a lot more sexually experienced than I was. One night, about six weeks into dating, we took a few swigs of vodka and he asked me to talk dirty to him. The problem was that I had no idea what to say, or how to say it. In the huskiest voice I could manage, I said, ‘I love you so much, baby.’ Not a smart move a month and a half into a relationship. I tried taking it back, but the damage was done. A premature proclamation of love is the furthest thing from sexy. Learned that the hard way.”

— Zara, 22

beetlejuice

“In college I was a bit of a pothead. One night I smoked with a guy I’d had a crush on for months at a party and then we headed back to his place. We started making out and I knew I had a bad case of cottonmouth—my tongue probably felt like sandpaper—but I didn’t do anything about it because I didn’t want to interrupt the moment or whatever. Finally, the guy pulled away and suggested I hydrate. I was so ashamed because I knew the kissing had probably been terrible for him. If you need a sip of water, don’t stall. Got it? No one digs a bad kisser.”

— Quinn, 27

beetlejuice

“The third guy I went down on was uncircumcised. I had just gotten used the way penises looked in general when I saw his. Unfortunately, my instinct was to ask him if something was wrong. When he figured out why I was asking, he smiled and explained the situation. He was pretty kind, but I hated myself for weeks. I felt so stupid. But I guess I had to learn what an uncut penis looked like at some point. Also, it’s good to know that it’s never smart to ask someone what’s wrong with their body.”

— Annabelle, 20

beetlejuice

“Recently, I was having sex with my boyfriend late at night. I was exhausted from working twelve straight hours and then hitting the gym, but I figured an orgasm would help me fall sleep. I tried to lean over his shoulder and yawn on the sly, but he totally caught on. By yawn number three he lost his erection, which is always an awkward scenario for everyone involved. The lesson? No one wants to make love to someone who can barely keep their eyes open.”

— Gina, 30 TC mark

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  • http://lifeinarcadia.wordpress.com Life in Arcadia

    this is fantastic!! great read and so relatable :D

  • rainawareness

    “one-night-stand streak”? What a slut

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  • http://cmostergren.wordpress.com cmostergren

    Really enjoyed this! It’s always inspiring when people open up about embarassing situations, especially about something so intimate.

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