10 Men Describe Their First Up-Close Experience With A Vagina

Flickr, Sonny Abesamis
Flickr, Sonny Abesamis

1. “It was definitely a shock to be down there for the first time staring straight at this beautiful thing I’d wanted to see and smell and taste in real life for so damn long. I remember thinking, ‘There’s a little more skin than I thought there’d be, but whatever, man, life’s awesome!’”

— Price, 20


2. “The first girl I ever dated was the wettest I’ve ever dated. I refused to wash my hands for days after I fingered her for the first time. I just kept smelling them and patting myself on the back for being such a stud. I didn’t learn the hard truth that most women don’t get excited that easily until I got dumped junior year and I had to date other people. Ignorance really is bliss.”

— Omar, 28


3. “I didn’t have a typical first vagina experience. When I was 13, my 18-year-old drug addict brother took me to an underground strip club in New York. I’m not sure why he invited me—maybe his junky buddies were all busy or something—but I wasn’t about to say no. Everything about that night was awesome. I got ten lap dances from a butt naked blond chick with the most rocking body. Since the place was illegal, you could touch the girls, and I distinctly remember the moment I slipped my hand between the dancer’s legs. She was hairless! Luckily it was too dark for anyone to see that I came in my pants pretty much immediately.”

— Paul, 30


4. “The first girl I went down on smelled a little off to me. It’s not that she smelled bad, but she definitely didn’t smell good, either. Must’ve been a case of mismatched pheromones, but I developed a complex about going down on women for a while after that. I got over my fear when I started dating my current girlfriend. It was like I was made to dive inside her every day for the rest of my life. I love her from head to toe—and especially when her legs are spread.”

— Ezra, 26


5. “There’s so much hype over the whole clitoris thing—like you’re an idiot or less of a man if you can’t locate this tiny little part of a woman’s body within seconds of getting naked in bed. By the time I got my first up-close look at a vagina, I was in college and I’d psyched myself out about having no clit radar. I was wedged between some Philosophy major’s thighs, inches away from her pink fleshy folds, but I couldn’t see anything especially clirtoris-like, so I panicked. I told the girl I had a stomachache and ran out of her dorm room to fake retch in the bathroom. I never even went back to say good-bye. Years later I met a really nice woman who was willing to instruct me in some key aspects of female biology. We’re not together, but I’ll be grateful to her forever.”

— Fabian, 32


6. “My first vagina got sopping wet as soon as I touched it. I have a knack for that shit. I’ve been making women scream since the day I lost my virginity back in ’01.”

— Tracy, 31


7. “As a guy, you’ve got this preformed idea about what it means to be turned on since day one of jerking off. You get aroused, and then your dick gets bigger and harder. It’d be nice if there was some kind of obvious indicator like that in the female sex. Seeing my first vagina made me realize just how mysterious they are. Some are easier to read than others, but they’re all pretty fucking complicated.”

— Trevor, 23


8. “I was paranoid about being a failure in bed, so I did a ton of research in my early teens. I read everything I could about how to pleasure women. I probably knew more about vulvas than most of the girls I went to high school with. What I’m saying is, I was prepared when I met my first vagina—I knew how to touch, lick, and appreciate it without rushing—and and I aced my first lady exam as a result.”

— Sanjay, 25


9. “Yum. That’s all I have to say about that.”

— Al, 24


10. “I grew up in a really conservative town in the south where it’s definitely not okay to be gay. From an early age I knew I was different from the other boys in my class, but I had no idea how, exactly. For years, I avoided dating altogether. But senior year of high school, I asked a girl to prom, figuring it was time to lose my virginity. As soon as I forced myself to slide my hand down my date’s panties to touch her vagina, I knew with 100 percent certainty that I was homosexual. It was terrifying and liberating at the same time. I fiddled with her for a bit, just to be a gentleman, but I haven’t been that close to one since, and I can’t say I miss them.”

— Gavin, 29 TC mark


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