Thought Catalog

30 Things To Expect When You Date A Girl Who ‘Thinks Like A Guy’

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Andreas Øverland
Andreas Øverland

1. She doesn’t question whether or not she has the bandwidth for unemotional sex. Why wouldn’t she be able to shelve her feelings for the sake of an orgasm?

2. She has casual sex if it seems like a good idea at the time. She’s usually (but not always) happy with the decision.

3. She doesn’t see a reason to lie about her “number” or to qualify why it’s on the higher end of what some might consider acceptable—unless of course it serves her interests to provide a little context.

4. She controls her personal narrative.

5. She doesn’t understand what’s not to like about a fart joke.

6. Her genuine appreciation for fart jokes irks certain people, both male and female, who seem to think women shouldn’t find scatological humor funny.

7. She thinks it’s dangerous (not to mention, boring) for women to abide by the unwritten social contract governing “appropriate” behaviors for members of her sex.

8. She doesn’t understand all the fuss over closing the bathroom door.

9. She’s been caught (and likely photographed) sitting spread eagle time and again over the course of her lifetime and she’s not at all embarrassed about it. She thinks the standard legs-crossed position is highly overrated.

10. She values comfort, but that doesn’t mean she’s against putting effort into looking her absolute best.

11. She kind of resents the whole idea of high heels, but she wears them pretty often because she once read a study that said you’re more likely to earn more money if you’re taller. Plus, even though they hurt like hell and she doesn’t want hammer toe, they really do make her legs look good.

12. She’ll go just about anywhere in her pajamas.

13. She loves her more emotional friends—truly, madly—but evaluating all possible scenarios surrounding any given relationship predicament isn’t her strength.

14. Luckily, she’s damn good at listening anyway.

15. In the rare case that she accidentally tunes out while a friend is venting about a dating crisis, she has a few vague phrases on-hand that she can plug into almost any conversation pause. For example: “I guess we have to wait and see,” or “It’s impossible to know anything for sure.”

16. She’s been accused of acting insensitive or cold on occasion, because she did.

17. Her sense of self-confidence can come off as brashness and she might get annoyed at you for pointing that out. Ultimately, though, she’ll appreciate it because she’s into to self-improvement.

18. It’s hard to weird her out just by talking about sex stuff.

19. She tends to go for “bad boys” because she assumes she’s immune to feeling anything she doesn’t want to feel. She’s not always right.

20. She owns a basic set of tools, including (but not limited to): a wrench, a hammer, screwdrivers (Phillips head and a regular—and she knows the difference), measuring tape, and an electric drill.

21. If she decides to bail on you at the last minute, she doesn’t offer a complicated excuse. She tells it like it is. For instance: “Sorry. Turns out I’m way too hungover to leave my house today.” Or “I just don’t want to go out right now.”

22. She’s not offended by pornography, or people like to who watch it.

23. She’s likes to get physical sometimes in a completely nonsexual way. Wrestling can be a great release, and she’s not above a few cheap moves.

24. As a kid she liked climbing trees (scraped knees were a badge of honor), building forts, and being called a Tomboy (whatever that means).

25. Someone once told her that she should have been born a boy because she played with her brother’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle figurines instead of Barbies.

26. She’s straightforward because she values efficiency.

27. She doesn’t like overthinking things for the same reason.

28. She’s (almost always) tells the truth because it’s awesomely easy to keep track of.

29. She gets over most upsetting experiences pretty quickly.

30. She used to be annoyed by the “feminist” label—until she realized, beyond a shred of doubt, that she was one. TC mark

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