We asked a bunch of women to reveal their wildest sex dream—below are their steamy responses, with illustrations by our very own Daniella Urdinlaiz.
When I was pregnant, I had the most bizarre sex dreams. The weirdest was having sex with a clown. He put a red squeaky nose on his penis and I was totally into going down on him. What’s sad is that it still kind of turns me on to think about it. I hate clowns, but the dream was so vivid and sensual.
— Carla, EMT, 25
I was dressed as a giant banana, teaching a team of strapping Peruvian 18-year-olds how to wrestle. I’d be lying if I said bananas didn’t turn me on in general. They’re so phallic!
— Addie, Dancer, 24
I gave oral sex to a horse, and I liked doing it. Didn’t Catherine the Great have a thing for horses? Does that make it okay?
— Eleonore, Social Media Coordinator, 26
In real life I’m terrified to try anal sex, but I dreamt that I let my boyfriend in through the back door. It was great—for both of us—until a small turd popped out as he exited. Thanks to my subconscious, I’m now even more afraid of anal play.
— Terry, Acupuncturist, 30
I spread peanut butter all over my dog’s balls and licked it off—slowly and sensually. Our relationship has definitely changed since.
— Betty, Accountant, 32
President Obama, Michelle and I were having a threesome in the Oval Office, but the First Lady wouldn’t let me get my share of the action. I’m a big Obama supporter, but I can’t help resenting Michelle whenever I see her on TV. I had to un-follow her on Instagram.
— Mandy, Barista, 27
I dreamt I was a dude, having sex with my mom. She was on top and I was sucking her nipples. It doesn’t get more oedipal or whack than that.
— Renee, CFO, 36
My boyfriend was banging me, doggy style, while he ate a slice of pizza. At one point I looked out the window and it was raining tulip petals.
— Diana, Neuroscientist, 28
I’m hetero, but I have a lot of lesbian dreams. In the most memorable one to date, I was wearing a strap-on dildo, fucking my best girlfriend from childhood. Maybe I should call her up and see if she’s into it.
— Ava, Policewoman, 33
People have called me prude my entire life, but I’ve had so many dreams about the kinkiest stuff. The best ones always involve orgies. I’ll be bopping up and down on one guy’s dick while making out with a girl and getting fondled by a few others. I love a tangled web of limbs. In my sleep, at least.
— Helena, Fashion Consultant, 24
I’ve had a serious crush on my econ professor all semester but I’m not the type to sleep with a teacher and risk getting booted out of school. Thank goodness my brain gave me the erotic experience I needed while sleeping. It was seriously so satisfying to seduce the man in my dream. I lingered after class and we did it on his desk without even closing the door and we didn’t stop, even as a bunch of other students starting filing in for his next class. Probably more rewarding than the real thing could have been.
— Alexis, Student, 20
Recently I had one about this gross old guy—not anyone I actually know, a creation of my mind—getting into bed with me in the middle of the night. He was covered in boils and he smelled like death, but when he touched me it felt soooooooo good. I woke up all turned on and pissed off and disgusted. Later that day, I revisited my imaginary old man friend in my head while masturbating.
— Jade, Photographer, 25
I once dreamt that I had a threesome with my lesbian professor and her partner, whom I’ve never actually met. My professor was the voyeur of the crew. She stood there watching us most of the time in between reading excerpts from our course syllabus. It was fucking weird, as was class the next day.
— Dawn, Occupational Therapist, 30
I was having super charged sex with my boyfriend, but when he ran his hand up my back it became clear that I was covered in hair. Not a thin layer of peach fuzz. This was a full-on Chewbacca situation. For whatever reason, we both took this in stride. My boyfriend continued to thrust inside me, deeper and harder, while simultaneously lasering me. The hair removal hurt—but in a good way. A week after I had that dream, I decided it was time we experiment with the boundaries between pleasure and pain in real life.
— Lauren, Actress, 23
Dr. Todd was our high school’s on-site nurse. He wasn’t traditionally handsome, but he was always wearing pants that highlighted his giant, Jon Hamm package. In my dream, Dr. Todd pulled me out of History class, and then, without a word, lured me into the men’s bathroom where we had passionate sex (me on top) inside a tiny little stall. The next day, he called me to his office to tell me that I was pregnant. When I looked down, I saw that he was right: I had giant stomach. It took me a solid minute to realize that I wasn’t actually pregnant after waking up.
— Catherine, School Principal, 38
I paddled through this beautiful ancient town and set about finding boys…but the only boys my unconscious could conjure were ones from the small town where I grew up. I seduced each of the boys I’d gone to high school with, successfully, with some sense that later in the dream they would find out they weren’t special, that I had slept with them all…this pleased my horny wicked dream-self.
— Rachel, Writer
I’m a 23-year-old virgin who’s never touched a drug in her life but I have a hyper active imagination that seems to want to compensate for my good behavior or something. I have tons of dreams in which I’m dressed in the sluttiest dominatrix type outfits, blowing coke off of a guy’s dick in between whipping him, and shouting things I’d never mutter in my waking life like, “Take me! I’m a cock-hungry slut!”
— Sally, Production Assistant, 23
I was having sex with my sister in the bathtub and our mom walked in on us—super disturbing, and not in the good way. Every time I remember it, I’m re-traumatized.
— Nancy, Teacher, 29