If their love language is ‘Touch’
1. For you to lovingly caress them regularly, without being asked. A simple one-handed shoulder rub works.
2. For you not to withhold physical affection, even when you’re in a fight.
3. To hold hands when you’re walking in public.
4. A hug and kiss when coming home or leaving for the day.
5. Back rubs, when you feel like showing them how much they mean to you.
If their love language is ‘Acts of Service’
1. For you to understand words might not be their thing, and feel just as loved an appreciated when they fill your car up with gas as you would if they wrote you a mushy poem.
2. For you to figure out what chores they love doing, because they love making your life easier — and which chores they hate doing, so you can make their life easier.
3. Acknowledgement and gratitude, when they do something for you.
4. A warm glass of hot chocolate/a cold cup of lemonade if they’re doing something outside on a hot/cold way.
5. A foot rub later, if they’ve been on their feet for you.
If their love language is ‘Words of Affirmation’
1. For you to say “I love you”, often.
2. For you to put your thoughts and feelings into words, even if they aren’t necessarily beautiful words. As long as they are genuine and come from you, they will be greatly appreciated.
3. A card more than a gift, with a nice note inside, even if it’s short.
4. A text message that says “I miss you” when you’re apart for longer than usual.
5. For you to tell them that they are beautiful, smart, talented, adept — whatever they actually are. Out loud, in your own words.
If their love language is ‘Quality Time’
1. For you to spend time with them regularly without anyone else around, and for the sole purpose of being together, not to complete some other task.
2. For you to not be on your phone while they are talking to you, at least most of the time.
3. For you to plan dates.
4. For you to stop what you’re doing when they come home and ask them about their day. And then listen.
5. For you to initiate time together.
If their love language is ‘Receiving Gifts’
1. For you to spend thoughtful time selecting gifts for them for gift-giving occasions like birthdays and Christmas, and for the gifts you choose to be reflective of their personality and needs.
2. For you to appreciate the gifts they give you. Even if they are only physical objects, they’re reflections of the love your partner has for you.
3. For you to display the gifts they give you, if appropriate, so they can see you treasuring their love.
4. Occasional trinkets just because.
5. For you to respect their love language as just as meaningful as the others, even if we commonly understand material things are less valuable than loving words and experiences. They’re treasuring a physical reminder of these same things.