The 15 Men You Will Meet In San Diego

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1. The Military Guy

San Diego is FULL of military dudes.  Most are cool, but avoid the young, enlisted men when they are drunk.  The best ones are the officers; they are hard to find but GEMS when discovered.  They’re the ones with the best dry-humor.  I went out with one who was so snarky and just all-around hilarious.  I spent most of the night just laughing.  It didn’t work out, but it was still a great date.

2. The Craft Beer Enthusiasts

EVERY guy in San Diego is a “craft beer” enthusiast.  Apparently San Diego is craft beer mecca.  You can usually spot these guys a mile away.  Check for the telltale sign of beer belly pouch.  These guys spend more time at Stone Brewery than at 24 Hour Fitness.  Also not my type of guy, I don’t drink but even when I did I still didn’t like beer.  However, Stone has really good crab cakes so if you get roped into a date with one of them, order those.

3. The Surfer

These guys are inevitable finds in coastal cities — but when every guy you meet in one night tells you they surf, you know it’s time to find a new hangout.  Surfers are great though — they’ve got killer legs and abs, and usually smell salty even if they shower.  Downside, I have found that most of the avid surfers I meet suffer from the “Peter Pan” syndrome.  They aren’t really looking to grow up, just living for the next chance to charge past the break.  No biggie for the girls looking for casual relationships and free spirits, but that’s not me.

4. The Stoner

I thought using drugs was something people did in high school and college and then stopped when it was time to grow up.  It wasn’t until I moved to SD that I realized that tons of people still smoke weed.  These guys aren’t my cup of tea, but there are a lot of them down here for anyone who is interested.

5. The Displaced East Coaster

The East Coast guys are usually split into two categories, they are either: 1. Really cool and super grateful to be living in such a great city, or 2. So snobby and horrible because they think wherever they came from is better than San Diego.  Sorry, but we earned the title “America’s Finest City” for a reason.  Plus, you have snow and humidity; we have 75-degree weather FOREVER.  You will never win.

6. The Transplant Middle Easterner

These guys usually come from Orange County or Los Angeles and all they talk about is how great the O.C. or L.A. is.  They are Angels or Dodgers fans and usually come from more affluent backgrounds.  I tend to avoid them at all costs.  We just have nothing in common.  I don’t think I could be paid enough money to live in L.A. and I hate the Dodgers (and baseball in general).  Plus, San Diego will always be better than LA.  Our zoo is better, the traffic is better, and our people are nicer.  L.A. and Orange County, you can take a seat, you aren’t better than us.

7. The Male Vegan/Vegetarian

I don’t try to understand it, I just accept it and swiftly move on.  If you don’t like meat, we can just end the conversation right there.  No I don’t want to sign up for PETA, but yes I will take those adorable animal stickers, thank you very much.

8. The Frat Guys Who Live in PB

For the girls still in college, PB is prime hunting ground.  But trust me when I say that fraternity guys make good friends but not often good boyfriends.  Some are looking for relationships but most aren’t — they are young and living it up. PB is somewhat gross and traffic is ridiculous, but if you find yourself bar hopping by Typhoon hit up Lil’ Orbits donuts.  They’ll help ease the headache the frat guys will undoubtedly give you.

9. The Frat Guys Who’ve Already Graduated and STILL Live in PB

These guys are my least favorite.  Grow up and move somewhere respectable guys.  PB is fine for poor college students, but you’ve graduated, its no longer endearing.  Also, I won’t come visit if I can’t find parking.

10. The Law Students

San Diego is home to three law schools and all of them are near the downtown area.  You will absolutely find these guys at any bar.  If you are hoping to find your very own Harvey Specter, good luck.  I’ve yet to find one.  However, as far as the breed of men goes, law students are very fascinating.  They are [usually] intelligent and incredibly neurotic.  You may not notice it at first but you will in time.  Also, they are driven and busy and probably super stressed (or they are highly medicated and super chilled).  Positive Side: they will hopefully make good money one day.  Negative Side: they are hundreds of thousands of dollars in student loan debt and still have to pass the bar.  Here’s some law school lingo: Caveat Emptor, which means, “let the buyer beware.”

11. The Young Politicos

San Diego has a thriving political life and it’s actually pretty well populated with members of both major parties.  Republican dudes are usually smoking cigars and drinking whiskey and Democrats are usually found hiking or something.  During the election cycles the US Grant is where the Republicans congregate and the Dems are…somewhere else.  But the recent political drama with Mayor Filner — along with other highly contested issues — make San Diego a hot bed for political action. We’re also the 8th largest city in the nation, so of course our opinions matter.

12. The Old Dudes Who Still Party with Twenty-Somethings

I recently met one of these guys. It’d been a while since I found any, but he was just as horrible as I remembered them to be.  These guys have to hang out with younger people because everyone their age thinks they suck and don’t want to hang out with them…usually because their personalities do suck.  This guy was no exception.  They have some weird superiority complex and think they are better than everyone.  The reality is, you are 40ish hanging out with your 24 year old intern and his friends.  Who is the pathetic one now?

13. The Hiker

I don’t know what it is, but guys in San Diego love to go on hikes.  They always have the obligatory “Potato Chip Rock” pic somewhere on their profiles and they always want to take you on one.  I’m torn — on one hand I love to go hiking, plus these guys always seem to have dogs. On the other hand, no, I don’t want to go to a somewhat isolated area with a stranger where you might kill me and no one will know what happened.  But all in all, hikers aren’t bad.

14. The Crossfit Guy

Personally I don’t see what is so cool about it, but it’s a big thing here.  There are tons of crossfit gyms downtown and guys are always talking about how they “love to crossfit.”  Why don’t you just go lift like normal gym dudes?  I’ve also noticed that crossfit guys and normal gym guys don’t like each other.  Both think the other is less…manly I guess…?

15. The Hater

These guys are my favorite.  Hanging out with this specimen will often result in endless amusement. They’re super snarky and may come across as really negative, but everything they say is hilarious.  In order to hang, you need thick skin and probably shouldn’t take them too seriously.  However, there is a firm distinction between the hater and the non-stop complainer — beware the latter, and stick with the former.  Then thank me later. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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