Summer is upon us, and depending on where you live in this little world, summer may already be gracing you with its burning rays. It’s no secret that with summer comes bathing suits, and for some people, with bathing suits comes anxiety. Lots and lots of anxiety. I am you, and I am here to tell you that I completely understand. This post isn’t to put even more emphasis on the unrealistic standards society craves, or that you should hide your body if you’re uncomfortable in it. It is to put focus on the fact that at any size; at any weight; one can experience bathing suit anxiety. It’s not about size, or self-hate, or any of those things. It’s about how you feel. Even at my thinnest I would avoid a bathing suit if I could. But those are just my own personal, carb-loving demons. Sometimes even the most confident gals have a moment of being self-conscious, and it just is what it is, whether you agree or not. So without further ado, and wherever your bathing suit anxiety may stem from, just remember that you are one fine piece of ass, hon, and the only thing that can change this feeling is you.
1) You have Googled “best swimsuit for my body type”, or something similar to that, when in reality you know these are just universal suggestions, and you need to find what makes you feel most comfortable. Which is nothing.
2) When one of your friends suggests grabbing lunch before heading to the beach, and the only thing you can think of is “Wait, what?” I can’t eat then go to the beach. Do you know what a food baby is? BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT A FOOD BABY IS? I can only eat once I’ve found the perfect lying down position in which no rolls are formed and I sort of look like the rigor mortis version of myself.
3) You say things like “I’m really just not a beach person!” or “It seems like such a waste of time. I’d rather be doing something with my vacation.” You can think of any excuse in the book to avoid taking off that Forever 21 cover-up.
4) If you’re well-endowed, forget it. One more thing to haunt your bathing suit dreams. Underwires that leave you tits-to-chin. Strong rip currents? It’s all too much to think about. You’ve done nearly everything but tape your bikini top to your chest in fear of it falling off, and you know that no matter what Cosmo says, bandeau tops don’t do shit.
5) It’s not that you consider yourself fat, per se, it’s just the thought of feeling that exposed in public is what freaks you out.
6) One day you feel so ready for the beach. So ready for that bikini. You’ve been eating kale and you just finished up that juice cleanse. Let’s DO THIS.
7) The next day.. forget it.
8) You want to burn every magazine you see with a “Beach Body Ready!” or “10 Days To Your Bikini Bod!” title splashed across the cover. (Only after reading it, of course.) Is it that time of the year already?
9) When trying on bathing suits, you start to notice random marks on your legs that aren’t actually there, but you’ve convinced yourself that they must not be seen in public.
10) When your friends do finally get you to the beach, you find that nobody is actually staring at your stretch marks, or scars, or rolls that aren’t there. They compliment you on your bathing suit, maybe even on your perfect beach-physique, to which you respond with a very blasé attitude. You have a great day with your friends, wonder why you ever gave a damn in the first place, then reach for your cover-up as fast as you can because, oh right, bikini.