You Broke My Heart And For That, I Thank You

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You broke my heart. You let me down. You made me feel alone. I wondered what life would be like now that you were gone. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know who to call. I was lost in a world of confusion, and couldn’t fathom what had just happened. You stopped loving me. You pushed me to the side, and filed me under “never speak to her again.” I had a moment of weakness and broke up with you, and you did nothing. You didn’t chase me. You didn’t contact me. Our friends said you were fine. I was, too, at first. Then it set in. Then I realized how much I missed you. Then I realized what a mistake I had made. I called you a countless amount of times. I texted you, I tried to make plans. I just wanted to talk to you and explain myself. One moment of weakness, and I lost it all. I lost you. But then we met up. We went for lunch. I told you I was sorry and that I made a huge mistake. I told you I had a “freak out” moment and pulled away. You didn’t say much, but looked at me as though you were looking through a glass window. You saw nothing. You felt nothing. I was just this girl pouring her heart out to you, wondering if you were absorbing any of it at all. I started to cry and that’s when we ended our meal. You bought me lunch and for just a moment, I had hope that we’d be okay. I thought my words got to you, and I thought maybe you had a change of heart. Days, followed by weeks, drifted by and I never heard from you. Buzz between our mutual friends circled, and everyone told me to just move on. You informed them that it was over for you, and that any communication with me would just be misleading. I was a wreck. Totally destroyed. I would cry for no reason. I would cry at the grocery store. I would cry in the middle of an outing with friends. Nothing made sense. How could you just throw me away so easily after seven years? Seven years. But then — something happened. Life happened. The work projects flowed in, I had a smile on my face, and for once… I acknowledged the attention that I was getting from other guys. I took a look around myself and realized how much I was loved, and all the amazing things that were happening that I had failed to notice before. I was too busy crying over you. I was too busy thinking about all of the things I wanted to say to you. I was blind to the things around me. I came to terms with how okay you were, and how okay I needed to be. I had my time to mourn our relationship, and I did just what you wanted me to do. I moved on. So now? Well now I’m strong. So strong. Stronger than I’ve ever fucking been. I feel like I can move mountains and it’s all thanks to you. Thank you for breaking my heart. Thank you for beating me down emotionally to the point that I thought I’d never recover. Thank you for ignoring my calls, and thank you for telling our friends I needed to move on. Thank you for making me feel so alone, because I found comfort within myself and the things I truly love. I’ve finally become comfortable with myself because I’ve finally have the courage to love myself. I gave you my all, and now, I’m giving it to somebody who deserves it. Me. I’m strong now, and for that, I thank you. TC Mark

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