1. Texting someone and realizing you never answered them.
You have thee funniest story to tell Jackie, and just have to text her now now now. You tap her name in your recent texts, and realize you never answered her 4 paragraph message from last week about that weird spot she found on her toe. You can’t possibly text her your brilliant story now, but if you do, you have to come up with some excuse as to why you never answered. “I’m sorry! My phone is like, so messed up right now. I never saw this!!” Jackie and her toe hate you.
2. Asking for toilet paper from a stranger.
Do you ask?! Do you wait until the room is empty and attempt to run into another stall with your pants down?! What if they say no? What if its like a real-life version of that Seinfeld episode I once saw?! I can’t ask. I’ll wait. Maybe I’ll just air dry? Shit.
3. Attempting to introduce your friends to old acquaintances.
You spot a girl who went to the same school as you, who you never actually had classes with, yet you just always had a weird “Hi, how are you?” thing. She walks over to you and your friends and is all “OMGZ its so nice to see you! How are you??? Where have you been??? You have bangs now! SO COOL!” Hair flips and high fives occur, so you turn to your friends to introduce them to your mystery bestie and…. wait…. umm…. Sally? Jennifer? Kell- WTF IS YOUR NAME AGAIN AND CAN YOU PLEASE STOP TOUCHING MY BANGS.
4. Seeing an ex with their new boyfriend/girlfriend.
Running into an ex with their new love interest is pretty much equivalent to having chronic diarrhea. You can’t really control what comes out of you, and it usually always occurs at the wrong time. (I.e you’re in the midst of your best “walk of shame” look and/or post hot yoga)
5. Coming across one of your professors on Tinder.
What do you do? Do you swipe left or right? I mean, he’s kind of cute and at least you know he has a job. “I wonder if he came across me. If he did, did he “heart” me? I’ll never know unless I heart him back! But does that make me look like I’m fishing for good grades? Is this even legal? Ugh I’ll just wait until after graduation.” You look like a crazed lunatic stalker from a Lifetime movie, and no, it is not legal.