Fuck Being Pretty

I’m not pretty. I’m not stunning and I am certainly nowhere near sexy.

Of course, my friends and family would care to differ. They will claim I’m “gorgeous” and “attractive” and that my brown eyes and small frame make me that way. They say that my “smooth skin” and my “small nose” are my best features, but since when has my appearance been my best feature?

But the reason I don’t think I’m pretty is because they would never say that without all the makeup I wear, they wouldn’t say that without the tight skirts and cropped shirts that make me feel so self-conscious. They wouldn’t call me pretty without my hair done. They wouldn’t call me gorgeous without my lips painted bright red to match the shoes that kill my feet.

What sucks is that, I’ve put so much effort into looking like all these girls the guys want.

I’ve been trying to be the girl guys want to date for years, and I have come to no prevail. I’ve spent so many hours in heels and I’ve spent so many hours in sneakers. I have come to learn and accept the fact that I am just not pretty.

But what even is “pretty”? Is it the shape of your nose? The size of your waist? Is it the color of your eyes or the way your hair falls? If it’s any of that, fuck it. I don’t want to be the stereotypical pretty girl.

I want to be rare, I want to be different.

I want to be the type of girl who makes a guy feel special. I want to be beautiful. Not pretty, not stunning. I want to be beautiful in every way.