It all started out great.
You told me that we were meant to be. You told me how perfect I was to you. It was all about the butterflies and rainbows.
Until you claimed that I consumed your love and decided to walk away. You denied our happiness, leaving our existence behind. You fed me with your kind-enough-words out of the blue. You said you enjoyed the idea of being alone. You said my temper was intolerable. You said dating was stressful, as if it was an exhausting job. Most importantly, you said you needed more space and freedom.
Sounds familiar? Come on, you’ve got to admit that everyone has at least been in one toxic relationship. Playing the notorious mind games, humiliating and blaming each other. So, everyone has been talking about how disastrous it is to be with someone just not right for you.
But has anyone ever told you the benefits of getting into/out of a toxic relationship?
If you have just gotten out of one, congratulations! It is time for you to rise and shine.
In a toxic relationship, we are all selfish human beings. For being the toxic partner, we put ourselves before anyone else (in an unhealthy way of course). We think we are the best as we see ourselves contributing more than our partners. It is not long until we become the controlling partner. Worse still, we learn to make excuses and lie about things that are not meant to happen. On the contrary, if we are the one who suffer, we tend to victimize ourselves by tolerating the undesirable behaviors of our partners. And then we start to lose ourselves gradually. The same old vicious cycle.
Until we are done and dusted with the relationship. We will come to the realization that it is a must for us to love and prioritize ourselves before loving somebody else. In the relationship, we are constantly walking on eggshells, as we are afraid of making mistakes. We basically live in fear. But don’t forget that we also learn to love and forgive. Then we learn to let go. This kind of experience let us know whether our dating habits are healthy. Eventually, it causes us to grow up and become wiser in dating.
So what can we do now?
First and foremost, do not rush to look for a rebound relationship. Indeed, do not think of relationship at all. It is because this is a perfect timing for you to get to know yourself, truly. Invest in yourself; go learn to live on your own. Explore your new hobbies and unearth your potential talents. Maybe you can be a great musician, who knows? I assure you that you can be totally happy on your own.
Right now, you are free, you no longer need to do or even sacrifice anything to keep your partner happy.
Embrace and enjoy your time of being single, spend some quality time with your beloved family, go catch up with some old friends and find some new interests.
Because you deserve that.