All The Things Love Wasn’t

Love has different definitions, according to people. For some, it is respect. For some it is being responsible.

For some, it is deep affection. For others, it is superficial attraction.

For many, it is physical longing. For a few, love is chemistry, just ‘clicking’.

If it’s not there, people feel that something’s amiss. And yet, love is none of this.

Love wasn’t when talking to someone became an everyday task. It was when not talking to someone every day became one.

Love never wanted to be started and bound and tied down by contracts, engagements, and marriages. It never wished to be ended by pieces of paper called divorces. It didn’t dream about being forced, being unhappy or making sacrifices. It never thought of being announced in Fussbook statuses.

Love was a bird, meant to fly. It never knew nor acknowledged anything but joy.

Love didn’t ask for any titles, labels and acts. It was more about feelings, than about facts. It wasn’t a girlfriend ’, ‘boyfriend or even an ‘ex’. It could not be had even after nights and days of sweaty sex.

Love was never searched nor found in loud pubs, discos and bars. It didn’t mean going home in a helicopter or riding expensive cars. It was in the simple holding of hands, while two people walked on a quiet road, on a summer night. Under a tree’s foliage, that played hide-and-seek with the moonlight.

Love didn’t need comparisons, analogies, metaphors, poems, intelligent conversations, intellect, flirting or praise. It was content in a handwritten note – saying ‘I’m in love with you,’ with a smiley face.

Love never knew the reason why. It anyways showed right there, in your eye. It was blind to the ‘ifs’ and the ‘buts’; it could be dumb, yes, but it still made people smile like idiots.

Love never promised no disagreements, quarrels, basic differences, compatibility issues – or the lack thereof. But it always promised that no matter what happened last night, it would always be there to comfort you in the morning; never gone, out of sight.

Love wasn’t the best behavior; it didn’t demand always being on your toes. It was sometimes a nasty fight, and sometimes a red rose.

Love never wanted money, degrees, qualifications, ‘respectable’ jobs, fame, fortune or a seven-digit salary figure. It was busy saving a few coins everyday so that on Sunday you could go out and share an ice-cream cone together.

Love wasn’t modern enough to understand hooking up, going steady, hanging out, and exploring options or just chilling. Love wasn’t shallow enough to understand today’s dating apps and networks – where just for a night, you could order people with your fingers, swipe left or swipe right.

Love was never measured in the time taken to reply on a mobile screen. It didn’t have to be gauged with your missed call and a change in their last seen.

Love was never mature enough to understand breakups, and breaks, and open relationships. In it, there was no letting go, a ‘let’s go our own way’ – for love always meant choosing to stay.

Love didn’t even like to be old-school. Love was ever intense, couldn’t play it cool. It never considered society, birth, caste or age. It could not even be described in a century-old adage.
Love didn’t know neediness or desperation. It never thought of mind-games and manipulation. It was just there, or it was not. It never cheated nor got caught.

Love was never meant to fit our scheme of things. It was far from perfect. It never had to be proven by solitaire rings or a prompt text.

Love was never sacrificed at the altar of a career. Both could happily exist, supporting each other. In it there was no inferior. It was more about ‘making it together.’

Because love never just was. Love was, is, and will be. It was free since the beginning, and free it will forever be. It is all that ever existed and all we will ever see. Thought Catalog Logo Mark


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