1. “Hey, you may think this is an excuse, but I have to [insert excuse here] , so I can’t make it tonight.” Short of illness, family problems, or a court order, there’s no reason to make him look second best. Your action just told him you couldn’t prioritize him, and actions speak louder than words. Also, don’t you think he noticed that you never asked to reschedule or make up later?
2. Stop all communication before the date so that the man doesn’t know whether to turn up or not, and then not turning up yourself. These types are even worse than flakers. If he has even an ounce of self-respect, he won’t call you later asking why, he won’t text you later asking why not, and hopefully he will just have big laugh because you were a mistake. It does not do to dwell on mistakes.
3. Lounge around at home all day in front of your laptop and then go to meet him without having done any talking beforehand. As I mentioned in my previous post, this applies to women as well as to men. He may not be the best conversationalist in the world, but it would help if you could speak a few sentences, without looking bored as well.
4. Bring your friend along. That’s not called a date. That’s called hanging out. Whatever you say, it’s going to be awkward. And if it’s a guy you brought, I won’t even say ciao when I leave a minute later.
5. Look like you can’t be bothered to take care of her appearance. How you naturally look is one thing. What effort you did to dress up for the date is another. It’s the first thing men notice, if nothing else. It is a first date, make it look like one.
6. Smell like you bathed in perfume. Yes, we love that fragrance you wore just for us. We go nuts over it. But don’t overdo it. Just a few dabs, and at the right places, please.
7. Act like you’re a trophy to be earned. Okay, you’re beautiful, he knows that. Sure, he’d pull that chair for you and sit after you sat down and were comfortable. But if you sit on that chair like some goddess waiting to be worshipped, seriously, God save you.
8. Act like he’s your TV.: The whole concept of men trying to be cocky/funny to impress women is wrong. Sure, I’d crack a few jokes depending on our vibe and whether you get my humor. But how about making us laugh instead? It’s a huge turn-on for men. If not, at least manage to make us smile. It will take you notches up in the respect-o-meter.
9. Make covert glances at the man near the bar when you think we’re not looking. This speaks volumes. Nothing misses us. Deal breaker.
10. Try to manipulate. Never try to see how he’d react if you say this, this, and this. We’re not robots with buttons to be pressed. Stop the mind game, and instead enjoy yourself and have a good time.
11. Pay only partial attention. ‘You know, [phone buzzes], I guess, [checking that notification] wait, [reading that text] OMG Kathy what were you thinking? [Punching a text] Just a second, [looking to see if she got a reply] Yep, what were you saying?
I was saying, there’s not going to be a second date.
12. Eat only half of what you ordered. If you didn’t like it, order something else. But there’s nothing hotter than a woman who’s unapologetically her-self while eating and enjoys a good meal.
13. Try to be someone you’re not. If you don’t like that joke, don’t laugh at it just for us. We will know. If you don’t know a thing about or don’t like football, don’t pretend you’re enjoying it when we talk about yesterday’s match or take you to a sports bar. We will know. If you are not going to meet us again, don’t say yes when we propose a second date. We will know. Don’t waste our time and don’t waste yours.
14. Talk about your ex unless you’re specifically asked about him. It’s our first date, dammit.
15. Act dumb. It doesn’t make you look cute. Going all puppy-eyed, pouting your lips to get favors doesn’t speak very highly of you too. Men can see through all that even if they decide to play along.
16. Lie when it’s time to pay. I was just about to foot the whole bill, and yet you came up with a lame excuse about how you forgot your wallet at home.
17. Tell us genially, “You’re such a nice person, I wonder how you’re still single.” Women actually do that.
18. Get piss drunk. On the first date, nope, turn off. Although we’ll drive you home and make sure you were safely put to bed. It’s called chivalry, not being into you.