1. Stream the latest syndicated sitcom marathon airing on the idiot box and get immersed in it from 8:30 pm Friday to 11 pm Sunday. Brag to your friends about your binge-watching, and congratulate yourself later and say it was cool. Cool.
2. Just think all weekend about how to make weekends awesome.
3. Drink your way to glory on Friday night and forget everything. Come Monday morning, say to yourself, “Thank God it’s the weekend.” Realize it’s not when you get a call from work in the afternoon asking why you didn’t turn up today.
4. Think about how you’re wasting two days of your life rather than acting to make your life better.
5. Post a new profile picture on Facebook and then reply ‘Thank you ‘ to every comment that you get. Check your profile every few minutes for the number of likes it got.
6. Wonder about the Meaning of Life. This is a surefire way to waste every living weekend because you won’t have an answer until the end, probably.
7. Put a sign on your bedroom door that says ‘Do not Disturb, I am studying’ and sleep like a dead whale inside. Hakuna Matata.
8. Make prank calls and ask each one: “Hey, here. How are you? You forgot me, buddy.” When they say they don’t remember you or politely say “I’ll call you later,” hang up and dial the next number.
9. (For those who are married) Visit your in-laws voluntarily and stay with them for the entire weekend.
10. Get an idea about the ‘next best thing to do’ and follow it like a madman/woman. Research it on the internet for hours. It may be anything, like how you should absolutely start taking guitar lessons, or starting a fitness regimen. Talk to your friends incessantly about it, convince them that they should do it too. And when Monday comes, conveniently forget everything about this idea or its implementation.
11. Online shopping. Pain your eyes while staring at your laptop/iPad screen, deciding on that perfect book, cellphone, watch, pair of shoes, or tee. Open up all known and unknown shopping sites to compare prices once you decide on probables. Read reviews on the products. This goes on for hours. And finally, mentally convince yourself why the product is bad. Or how real shopping is better — the feeling of going into a store and buying the product is unparalleled. Or how you should be spending money on something else instead.
Whatever the case, you close the browser which promptly says “Do you want to close all 23 tabs?’ Click on Yes. (And congratulate yourself on your money-saving skills.)
12. Spend hours downloading every hi-res image/video of your celebrity crush from the internet to your hard drive. Stare at your collection for hours, and after dinner on Sunday, think ‘what was I thinking?!’ and delete your entire collection.
13. Work from home. Beats everything else.