I’m the independent girl, the one who’s just fine being on her own. I don’t need a boyfriend to hold me together — I can support myself just fine. And I don’t need a man to around the house, because I’m a pretty handy woman.
But I do miss my ex, and not just the idea of him.
Our relationship wasn’t perfect, not by a long shot. But we did understand each other. We listened to each other, we were there for each other, and most of the time, we were best friends. I could be myself around him without holding back. And best of all, he believed in me.
Finding all that in someone is as hard as finding a needle in a haystack. I’ve tried finding it again, but I haven’t met anyone like him yet. And it’s not the idea of him that I miss. I miss the person that he is.
I miss how well he treated his family, especially his mother. I miss what great friends he had and how well I got along with them. I miss how patient and understanding he was with me, even when I was at my worst.
I miss how he helped me work through my problems like they were his own, without being asked. I miss how he would always put my favorite TV show on instead of his, even when I told him he could have the remote. I miss his goofy sense of humor that meshed so well with my own. And I miss how he would attempt to cook for me, even if it was in the microwave.
I never had any unrealistic expectations of him. I just wanted him to be himself. And he was. He was imperfect and perfect all at the same time. I could see the man he was, the man he had been, and the man he could be — and I loved all of them.
That’s why I miss him. He didn’t do anything to make me hate him, and I can’t imagine that anything would ever change my mind about him being a kindhearted man.
No matter how long it’s been, I will always hope that he is happy. I want him to be happy, because he treated me the way you treat someone when you actually care. And I cared about him, too. I still do…
And I probably always will.