This was your year.
After what felt like a lifetime of horrible first dates, and love gone wrong, and hookups, and dating apps, and blind dates, and thinking that there wasn’t a single human on this planet meant for you, you found one another.
You found the person who you wanted to grow old with, and perhaps even start a family with, and talk to for the rest of your days.
After what felt like a lifetime of wondering if romance was for you, or if you were ever going to find your happily ever forever – you found it in your beloved. And one of you proposed to the other. Maybe one of you even got down on one knee. Perhaps it was something out of a movie with rose petals and chocolate and champagne. Maybe it was something else, more quiet and intimate with you two at home on a Sunday morning.
It doesn’t really matter how your proposal happened – what matters is that for at least a few months, or maybe even a few years, you’ve been engaged to the love of your life, and this year, 2020, was supposed to be your wedding.
You decided what venue you were going to celebrate in, and you picked out fancy invitations. You asked your best gals or guys or pals to be standing beside you as you promise forever to your beloved before God, or whomever your pray to, and the ones you love the most.
You looked through Bridal magazines and Pinterest boards and found the dress that made you feel like a million dollars.
You searched for flowers and tasted cake and decided what you were going to feed your families and friends as they shared in your special day.
You wrote vows and picked out rings and planned your honeymoon.
This year, you were going to get married, and now, your wedding is canceled because of the coronavirus. And there is nothing poetic to say about that – other than it just sucks. I hope you know it’s ok to say that.
I hope you know that you can be upset that you have to cancel your wedding and still understand that you’re doing the right thing for your friends and family’s health and wellbeing.
I hope you know that you can be upset that you have to cancel your wedding and that in doing so, it doesn’t mean that you are underestimating the severity of the virus. It doesn’t mean that you’re somehow diminishing the stress and horror that many people are living through right now, either.
You can hold disappointment and concern in both of your hands. It’s not an either-or situation – you do not have to choose.
You spent months, and weeks, and days planning your special day – and now it’s canceled, and that’s annoying and frustrating, and disappointing, and concerning, and sad, and a million other little feelings that you are experiencing but maybe can’t quite name.
You spent a lot of time planning for this wedding – but you spent a lifetime looking for your forever love.
And that love isn’t canceled.
That love is here to stay, even without the party, the fancy clothes, the champagne, the flowers, the cake, and the first dance.
That love that the two of you share is what will see you through to the other side of this virus. Even though it’s hard to fathom right now, there is an end to all of this. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, too.
So hold onto one another as you navigate this time of grief cancellation. Remember the lifetime of heartache that brought you to the one who made you want to choose forever – and grasp their hand as you journey forward.
One day, you’ll plan your perfect day without the dangers of a pandemic lurking on the dance floor with all of your guests.
Until then – I hope you permit yourself to linger in the engagement bliss a little bit longer.