Reminder: You’re Still Here

Inside, you want to cry.

You want to cry,
and you want to sob,
and you want to scream,
and you want to say, “HEY! Does anyone remember that I’m still here? Does anyone remember that I still feel? Does anyone remember? Anyone? ANYONE?!”

That’s inside.

Inside, where your voice is loud.
Inside, where you dare to speak.
Inside, where you have the strength to cry.

That’s inside.

Outside, you plaster on a smile.

You bite your lip to keep the tears at bay.
You clench your jaw to keep yourself steady.
You clasp your hands as if that simple movement will keep you from falling apart.

You want to ask so many questions.
You have so many words; you do not know how to string them all together.
You just want to know why.

You ache to let the tears flow.
You want to unclench your jaw and unclasp your hands, and let yourself fall apart at the seams – and into the arms of the ones that you love.

But you don’t, because you don’t feel seen.

You don’t because you feel as though you’ve been forgotten.

You don’t think anyone remembers you.
You don’t think anyone thinks of you.
You don’t think anyone considers you.

And you believe those lies.

But the truth of it is that you are not forgettable – and you have not been forgotten, either.

You are here.

You are still breathing, and your heart is still beating.

Your tears are still allowed to fall, and even though your voice feels hoarse and tired – you are still able to be heard, should you want to speak.

Speak the lies so that the ones around you can show you the truth.
Speak the fears so that the ones around you can show you how much bravery is within you.
Speak what you need – so that your voice can remind you how you’re still here.

I hate styling my hair.

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