In our modern times, it’s easy to get wrapped up in wanting and needing more. We tune into a carousel of “wants,” perfectly curated on our screens at all hours of the day. It’s not hard to play the comparison game, and go down the rabbit hole that comes with comparing your success to the success of those around you.
But it’s entirely counterproductive.
Just because your friend Pam is further along in her career than you are in yours doesn’t mean that you cannot succeed. It doesn’t mean that you cannot enjoy the abundance of your work one day, either. It just means that Pam is at a different stage in life than you — and that’s okay, too.
Here are some things to keep in mind when your scarcity mindset kicks in:
1. You can enjoy your own abundance and still give to others.
You don’t have to choose one or the other. You don’t have to be timid in enjoying your wealth. It’s okay to celebrate the fruits of your hard work and give from what you have been given. Giving to others does not detract from your own worth — it expands it.
2. Someone else’s success does not take away from your own.
Just because someone else is farther along in their journey doesn’t mean you’re behind. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It doesn’t mean you can’t achieve what you want to, or hope to, or are working toward. Life doesn’t work that way, and it’s also not pie. There’s a whole world that’s waiting for you and only you to put your stamp on it. There’s also only one life you get to lead, so please stop playing the comparison game.
3. Stop pouring your time and energy into comparing your journey to the journeys of those who are around you.
Who cares what they’re doing? Who cares what they’ve achieved, or how much money they have, or what their relationships look like? It’s not about the life that they’ve created — it’s about the one that you’re cultivating. It’s about your achievements, and it’s about your bank account, it’s about your career, it’s about your relationships. Focus on making the things you hold dear the best they can possibly be — pour your energies into them, and watch how they thrive.
4. Focus on what you do have.
Gratitude is a powerful practice. Make it a habit of being grateful for many things that come your way — especially tiny treasures that we tend to overlook — like a fridge full of food, a clean bed to sleep in, and a roof over our heads. Were you able to have a hot cup of coffee this morning? There is always something to be grateful for — remember to stop long enough to show your gratitude.
5. Focus on what you can do.
There are so many things in this life that we cannot change, but there are also many things in life that we can. You can learn more, and you can grow. You can change, and you can decide to be better and do better. Yes, even you.