All I Seem To Hear Today Are The Words You Never Say

woman looking upward
Sara Rolin / Unsplash

I’ve devoted my life to developing my hearing. I’ve trained my ears to soak up every slightest sound. I’ve spent hours in deep and contemplative silence. I’ve invested in being in tune with the entire world around me, even the softest sounds or the harshest harmonies. The hardest thing I’ve had to listen to, the most obnoxious vibrations to endure, though, have been all the things you never say.

The way you scowl and contort your face becomes a sorrowful melody. The rigidity of your body simply speaks to me. I can hear the anger in your eyes, your arms, and the way you stomp your feet. I’m sure you never knew your body delivered more communication to me than your words ever dared to dream.

You don’t even know I’m listening, do you? That I hang on every word that lingers in the air? You see, there’s more than the words that are spoken between us. I hear everything, the words you utter and the things you never say.

I hear more in the silence than the words that flash across the screen. Every message that you leave unanswered might as well be you screaming at me. The short and choppy responses to my long, flowing prose send the telepathic message of disinterest and disdain. Behind the rare heart emojis and claims that you feel love, the whispers of regret and the slamming of the door to shut me out ring true inside my ears.

You never realize all that you communicate, do you? The things I gather throughout the day? You’ll never know that there’s so much more than the words typed between us. I hear everything, the things you type and the thoughts you never say.

I hear it all: the moments you ignore me, the ways you work to avoid. My eardrums rattle in the yelling, but even more in the still. The more I hear, the more my heart breaks. The longer I listen, the less I want to live. They say that love is the sweetest song, yet somehow our duet has turned into a solo… and I can’t even sing. My voice has begun to crack, following suit with my shattered heart. I wonder if you meant to torture me this way with all the things you never say. TC mark

Megan Glosson

Writer. Mental Health/Disability Advocate. Mom. Lover of All.

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