This Is Me Fighting For You

  • 0
A woman and a girl cheering at a festival
Annie Spratt / Unsplash

I get up and go to work every weekday, then come home and make dinner, do the dishes and other chores. I store leftovers, calculate carefully, try to stay on budget. Sometimes I sacrifice sleep or a new pair of shoes (even though mine have holes in them). Sometimes I pay a bill late or overdraft my account trying to make sure there are lights, heat, and water. I read you stories when I should be finishing work, or hold you a little bit longer when I should be fast asleep.

This is me fighting for you.

I sign up to vote and stand at the polls. I write or call congressmen when something needs to change. I sign petitions, make big signs, march or stand in protest. I shout for equality, stand for our bodies, and push for strict gun control. I won’t go down easy, I’ll keep swinging. I’ll share pictures with hashtags like “#metoo” and “#impeachtrump.”

This is me fighting for you.

I struggle with mental illness, specifically borderline personality disorder, every single day. I have been a science experiment of medication trials. I have spent hours every week in various forms of therapy, both group and individual focused. I have forced myself to seek help by admitting myself to the psychiatric hospital when my thoughts go dark enough that I fear I may not survive. I have researched, read, and studied anything I can find so that I can better understand myself and my potential impact on your future because of my illness. Instead of hiding my struggles, I have been courageous enough to share them publicly through writing.

This is me fighting for you.

I work in a field dominated by men with big egos. My thoughts and creative ideas are often dismissed. When we discuss “big names in the field” or select a guest clinician to appear for an event, it’s almost always a man. I continue to work as hard as I can, study and attend optional professional development sessions or workshops, and I constantly push myself to be the best that I can. I am my own worst critic and spend large amounts of time reflecting on what I can do better or ways that I can improve. I want to show you that I can do this and that I can be just as good as anyone else although I have breasts and a vagina.

This is me fighting for you.

I donate my money, give food to the poor. I explain that sometimes people need a little more. I remind you of manners, “say please and thank you.” I give you big hugs, wipe away tears, and hold you when you say you have fears. I try to show kindness in all that I do, telling you that all we need is to love one another and the wars will be through. Even when the world has gone cold, and sometimes things seem so cruel: my daughters, all of this and more is me fighting for you. TC mark

Powered by Revcontent

This is me letting you go

If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.

We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time.

“Everyone could use a book like this at some point in their life.” – Heather
Let go now

More From Thought Catalog