Even Love Cannot Save You If You Don’t Want To Be Saved

Chiara Cremaschi
Chiara Cremaschi

Missing you comes in waves and tonight I’m drowning.

I hate how the memories come back, but you don’t. On nights like this, I forget to forget you.

I can’t shake you, you gave me too much to remember.

I was lucky to see every side of you, to learn about all of your flaws, fears, and hidden inhibitions. I saw your wrongness, your scars, the parts of you that you hate. I also saw a version of you that you keep from the rest of the world, and I adored it.

I loved you like crazy, but here’s the thing – I didn’t love myself any less.

As for you? You were head over heels for me, but also your own worst enemy.

Call it cliché, but I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. When thoughts of you overhaul my mind, I wish you could peruse my stream of consciousness. When my heart begs for you back, I wish you could feel its weight. When tears fall down my cheeks, I wish you could gage the emotion behind them and conceptualize their intensity.

I wish you could experience every little piece of me missing you.

Maybe then you’d learn your worth. Maybe then you’d begin to love yourself just as I loved you.

You don’t know how your words and actions affect me, but I wish you did. I wish you could sense the way in which you’ve impacted my life – my past, my present and my future – for the better. If only you’d recognize the hold that you still have on my heart, despite the passing of time.

I’ve been through my fair share of breakups, but none like this. Pardon my French, but this breakup has been a bitch.

And it’s all because of you and my feelings for you…

You’re hard to forget. You make moving on seem like mission impossible. And in all honesty, getting over you is taking everything in me.

You’re the reason I’m becoming stronger, but ironically you’re also my weakness. I let you go, but never wanted to.

When I see you, I see the real you and you’re nothing shy of amazing. I just wish you loved yourself half as much as I do.

I fell in love with you slowly and thoroughly until you were all I cared about. This is something I’ll always remember.

Remember how you felt about me? Well, I want you to care about yourself that way. Learn to love the boy you’ve been, the guy you are, and the man you’ll be. All I want is for you to be happy, and for that happiness to stem from some place inside of you.

When we broke up, you wished me nothing but the best. Little did you know, I already had it.

I see something extraordinary in you and in time, I hope you see it too. TC mark

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