Thought Catalog

Everything I Know About Werner Herzog

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Werner Herzog is a German filmmaker born on September 5, 1942.

Many of Werner Herzog’s films have either won or been nominated for awards of varying prestige.

Lightbulbs have terrified Werner Herzog since he was a child. Cave of Forgotten Dreams, his latest 3-D release about the Chauvet Cave in southern France, was almost a 94-minute shot of a lightbulb (still titled Cave of Forgotten Dreams, still in 3-D).

Every time a Waka Flocka Flame song plays, whether the listener is aware of it or not, they will experience two to eight thoughts Werner Herzog has thought. Every time a Waka Flocka Flame plays around Werner Herzog he feels uncomfortable but doesn’t know why. Immediately after viewing Herzog’s Land of Silence and Darkness, Waka Flocka Flame retreated to his room for a week and denies seeing the film to this day.

Werner Herzog likes to keep his film crews small.

Sometimes Werner Herzog has people in his documentaries act in addition to just being themselves, to create what he calls “ecstatic truth.”

The best way to avoid an attack from Werner Herzog is to burrow deeply into a three-foot-tall hedge. If a hedge isn’t nearby, hiding behind any three-foot-tall object will suffice, though it is advised to stay as still as possible in these instances.

“There is something about my face that is sinister,” said Werner Herzog in a 2006 New Yorker profile.

Werner Herzog has been married three times.

Werner Herzog has successfully shortened every Tuesday in the Western Hemisphere by 15 seconds.

One can simulate the acoustics in Werner Herzog’s mouth by standing in a minimally furnished eight-foot by eight-foot room with 83% humidity.

Werner Herzog claimed he would eat his shoe if Errol Morris ever completed his 1978 documentary about pet cemeteries, Gates of Heaven. When the film was completed, Herzog boiled his shoe and ate everything but the sole, claiming “One does not eat the bones of the chicken.” Les Blank directed a short documentary, Werner Herzog Eats His Shoe, based on this incident.

Werner Herzog has never angrily said “Stop worrying about your ankle, your ankle is fine” to his mother.

Shortly after the birth of Werner Herzog’s son, Simon, bananas grown in Ecuador were an average 10% chewier. Bananas grown in Costa Rica experienced no significant texture change, though some farmers noted a shorter ripening period.

Werner Herzog played an audio recording of former wildlife advocate Timothy Treadwell getting eaten by a bear in front of Treadwell’s ex-girlfriend in the 2005 film, Grizzly Man.

Areas influenced by Werner Herzog often appear lively and flourishing due to recurring patterns of one “decoy” near two “originals.” This phenomenon, commonly referred to as the Herzog Effect, is so subtle that it often goes unnoticed, though once recognized seems obvious and easy to detect. Most notably, Best Buy has taken advantage of the Herzog Effect by including one formerly functional cell phone in every group of three display phones.

In 1975, the Grand Prize of the Jury was awarded to Werner Herzog at the Cannes Film Festival for The Enigma of Kaspar Hauser, a film about a man who mysteriously appeared in Nuremberg barely able to speak or walk and later reveals he had escaped from a dungeon in which he had been imprisoned for unknown reasons.

A phone number is available on the “Contact” page of Werner Herzog’s website.

Pert Plus’ quality control department once recorded a 54 minute phone call from Werner Herzog complaining of a filmy residue left on his scalp from the shampoo in addition to its “disappointingly low lather.” Rumors have generated around the call’s audio recording due to an unexplained 20-second silence preceding Herzog shouting “…of a self-contained man against the [either “terrors” or “herrings”] of the world” and hanging up.

For nearly seven hours while shooting Wheel of Time, Werner Herzog emitted a frequency astrophysicists first mistook for signals originating in a mass of potentially intelligent light waves delivering a message that the universe had finally stopped expanding.

In addition to filmmaking, Werner Herzog has written books and directed operas. TC mark

image – Erinc Salor
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More From Thought Catalog

  • http://twitter.com/lukebourassa Luke Bourassa

    Here's audio from NPR's “Science Friday” featuring Herzog, Cormac McCarthy (“The Road”), and theoretical physicist Lawrence Krauss talking about the cross-over between art and science. http://www.sciencefriday.com/a

    • http://tomhankssuperfan.blogspot.com megan boyle

      sounds interesting, thanks for link

  • http://brianmcelmurry.blogspot.com/ Brian McElmurry

    Isn't he a muppet also? Like one of the grumpy dudes in the blacony?

    • http://tomhankssuperfan.blogspot.com megan boyle

      sort of, i know who you're talking about. he's actually herzog's twin, there's a sad story behind this. thought it would bring the piece down…

  • Rachel Butters Scotch

    This is excellent.

  • http://bmichael.me/ bmichael

    I thought this was pretty good.

  • http://twitter.com/gay_lioness_fag david jones

    lol re '”disappointing low lather”'

    • http://tomhankssuperfan.blogspot.com megan boyle

      when i heard about that i was like “i'm sure it had nothing to do with your disappointingly receding hairline, diva”

  • http://twitter.com/MissKimball misskimball

    he was also shot during a british tv interview

    • http://tomhankssuperfan.blogspot.com megan boyle

      what kind of camera did they use to shoot him? (jk)

      that's interesting, i didn't know that happened

      • http://twitter.com/MissKimball misskimball

        also he walked from munich to paris in 1974 in the middle of winter because he thought it would save his friend who was dying of cancer. it took him 21 days but it worked and she lived until she was 90 or something

    • Brandon

      its recorded, i saw it… i think it's on youtube… he doesn't do anything, the interviewer freaks out and he tries to tell him to chill out and just continue on w/ the interview, it's wierd

  • http://heheheheheheheeheheheehehe.com/ tao

    hope he makes a documentary on megan boyle

    • http://tomhankssuperfan.blogspot.com megan boyle

      damn, me too

  • http://twitter.com/adamhump adamhump

    I'm picturing a whole new side to waka flocka…

    • http://tomhankssuperfan.blogspot.com megan boyle

      heh heh

    • JoeyMartin

      werner flocka

  • Jennifer

    thanks megan. seeing cave tonight. should be dope.

    • http://tomhankssuperfan.blogspot.com megan boyle

      nice, jennifer. haven't seen it yet

  • http://profiles.google.com/cat.pierro cat pierro

    i just wrote and then deleted about six comments in response to this piece. better luck tomorrow maybe. anyway, i liked it. oh, i do want to say that one time i had a dream in which i encountered the Oxford English Dictionary (in print of course) and to prove its authenticity it had every feature i knew the Oxford English Dictionary to have, i.e. when opened it emitted light, and choral music. (i.e. what constitutes realist writing for a generation with no [?]?)
    —@trying2endacct:twitter

    • http://tomhankssuperfan.blogspot.com megan boyle

      damn, sounds like a cool dream. glad you liked the list.

  • http://brianmcelmurry.blogspot.com/ Brian McElmurry

    I thought of another one. Your husband Tao Lin was considering naming Richard Yates “Werner Herzog.” Thats a fact.

    • http://tomhankssuperfan.blogspot.com megan boyle

      what if this comments section became an online repository for every fact about werner herzog…heh…

    • francisca .

      i think more people would have read the book

  • flockavelli

    143

    • http://twitter.com/fantasticsoap Frank Irby

      The flocka bit got to me, man.

  • Anon

    this is pretty stupid

  • RamonaCC

    Werner Herzog is an enigma.

  • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

    Every time a Waka Flocka Flame song plays, whether the listener is aware of it or not, they will experience two to eight thoughts Werner Herzog has thought. Every time a Waka Flocka Flame plays around Werner Herzog he feels uncomfortable but doesn’t know why. Immediately after viewing Herzog’s Land of Silence and Darkness, Waka Flocka Flame retreated to his room for a week and denies seeing the film to this day.

    i am grinning 'big time'

  • http://staugustine2.wordpress.com/ STaugustine

    If only Wernie hadn't sold out so friggin
    spectacularly (precipitously); from the realtime endurance test intro of
    Fata Morgana to… “Rescue Dawn”… in roughly thirty years! Also,
    watch the scene in “My Best Fiend” when he's reminiscing about
    Kinski to a middle-class couple about the hijinks their kitchen saw
    (long before they owned it) back when Kinski and Herzog were both
    boarding there (and Kinski barely knew Herzog existed) : you can see the
    self-aggrandizing mytho-maniac at work. I won't go into how poorly he
    treated Bruno S. (who died in Berlin last year), the man who was (with
    Kinski) responsible for Herzog's breakthrough: Bruno S. was 90% of the
    effect of Kaspar Hauser and of Stroszeck, too. Herzog is quite wealthy
    and Bruno (who was primarily a painter) died in his worn-through
    underwear… so, the old Capitalist/ Artist divide saw Herzog on the top
    of that fraction and Bruno on the bottom, the genuinely noble, struggling Artist. Are
    you aware of Harun Farocki's work? Farocki is Herzog's
    contemporary, the leading remnant of The German New Wave and he hasn't sold out, either.

  • http://www.stephaniekwak.com/blog Sk

    100% fan of Werner Herzog.

    • REI KOZ

      “SK” FROM /tv/?

    • REI KOZ

      “SK” FROM /tv/?

  • Ian

    Oh I get it. It's supposed to be like the Chuck Norris meme, right? But with Werner Herzog?

  • Arty Sellfish

    rotten tomatoes gave this article a 98% fresh rating

    • Ian

      but it could of been 99% if it weren't for Armond White.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1363230138 Michael Koh

    MEGAN ASS BOYLE DAMN NICE

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