Let me set the scene. It’s Thursday and I got out of class early which means we’re going out. I’ll fix my hair and makeup, choose the outfit that makes my boobs look the best and I’ll run out the door to make sure I get free cover. Most likely I’ll be a little tipsy before I even step in the door but hey, so is everyone else. My posse will walk straight to the bar for a drink and probably a starter shot. Then we’ll walk to the crowd and linger around keeping our eyes peeled for old and new victims and especially him.
He’ll be wrapped up in some girls eyes at the bar letting her take over his barstool so she thinks he’s a nice guy, but she’ll learn. He’ll complement how she looks and ask about her life but let her talk so she thinks he actually cares. He knows his smile will seal the deal so he keeps it on his face the whole time. Then the clock strikes closing time and she’ll make up an excuse about how she has to leave with her sisters but she won’t leave without giving him some sort of hope for a later hookup and her number.
Meanwhile, I’m probably plastered and have picked my best friend up off the floor twice already. I’ve told the same guy my name a minimum of 3 times and have accepted the drinks offered but never the “I’ll walk you home” invitation. My best friend and I will dance and try to sing every word to the most popular songs we really don’t know. She’ll start drunk texting her lover boy and I’ll still be looking for him.
So I’ll walk outside and I’ll see him and then when he looks at me I’ll act like I’m drunk and start fast walking home. I get home and get a text from him. “Where are you?”….. “At home”… Then he’ll call and say he’s close and has a ride to his house if I wanna come late night with him. You could probably guess my answer.
I know I’m not the only one who waits anxiously for those texts. We girls will wait for the text then when it comes try to act like it’s a hassle to get dressed to go with him but we’ll do it. But am I the only one who thinks, “why me?”
Here’s 7 reasons he’s texting you at 2am
1. He’s comfortable
You know him and he knows you. You know what makes him tick and sweat and he knows every expression you’re making. It’s easy together and sometimes the chemistry can’t be ignored but most likely is.
2. You’re probably fun as hell
He knows you’ll be up for shots when you arrive home and his roommates love you. You know how to have a good time and can sing along to any weird song he chooses to drunk sing to.
3. You looked good that night
Most likely he definitely saw you from across the bar. He noticed you while you had already noticed you and the thought of you couldn’t be replaced. This is a hopeful reason…
4. You’ve already seen his penis
He doesn’t have to start over. Y’all know where to meet when the night slows down and he doesn’t have to worry about if the new girl will think he’s big enough because every boy knows the girl will talk about that tomorrow.
5. He likes your company
Maybe just maybe, he likes having you around. Y’all have a good time outside and inside the sheets. He likes to look into your eyes and make you feel like it’s more than what it really is then he’ll snap out of it and ask why you’re looking at him like that.
6. You’ll say yes
You want to say no, you want to be strong and stay home to make him wonder what you’re really doing. But you can’t, you wait for his text and when it comes you don’t know if it’ll come again so you take the offer. You hope if you keep saying yes then maybe he’ll realize he just wants to have you every night and one day he’ll stop ignoring the chemistry you know you feel.
Last but not least, the most logical and accurate reason…
7. He’s horny
There’s no sugar coating that. And he probably knows you’re drunk and horny too. Two wrongs into one right.