Of course you get ample opportunities and choices to take a pick for your future squad when you have 200 classmates (and like over a thousand batch mates?) that you can bond over in various language clubs or extra-curricular activities, without worrying much about your general image in college of being a ‘snob’ or a ‘bookworm’ or a ‘high handy know it all’. But what to do when you are compacted into a classroom of just 40 students who happen to have a pre-conceived notion about you (in other words – they Do Not like You At ALL)? Considering the options – a.) You change your college b.) You do nothing about it and cry your nights out because of the mean girls (college version –sigh!) c.) You turn the table and take matters in your own hands.
So if, in the name of sanity and everything that’s holy you choose the last one, here are some hand-outs as to how to deal with this mid-life crisis you’re experiencing in your last teens.
Well well well, as Blair Waldorf once quoted – “Forget Boys. Keep your eyes on the prize. YOU CAN’T MAKE PEOPLE LOVE YOU, BUT YOU CAN MAKE THEM FEAR YOU.” (Since fear isn’t an option here, let’s first stick to – respect you?)
1. Pick out one or two loyal mates from your class. You need your class to like you. In order to do that you will need at least one or two allies who you can trust, considering the entire class is pretty much going to ignore you. So first things first, pick out those goody good people you think will stick out for you.
2. Forget Groupies. Of course, everyone has their groups and of course, no group likes you. So you need to select one person from each group and start bonding with them. That’s how you break it up, one step at a time.
3. Hangout with other batch mates. This gives them the idea that there is nothing wrong with you and that you are equally and completely like-able!
4. Find your area of interest and excel in it. This is really important because when they think that you’re a ‘good for nothing’, you can actually prove them wrong by outshining them. Whether it’s joining the debate club or playing Calpurnia on stage, you really have to be the best !
5. Make a very good bond with your seniors. Go to their parties or instead throw them one, but you really need your seniors to be on your side. Nor will it only earn you extra points in the long run, but will make your haters realize that you don’t need them to have an ultimate college experience!
6. Dress well. Believe it or not, your attire speaks a lot about your personality. It’s not about being fashionable. Just be presentable. Avoid wearing anything that does not suit your personality or body. Because if you do not take yourself seriously, no one else will.
7. Rise above. If people treat you like shit, it defines them, not you. The way you treat people defines you, not them. Always regard others the way you’d like to be regarded. How they treat you is up to them and not you. Rise above, because you can.
8. Keep up your grades. Trust me; no one likes a sloppy party animal who cannot get their shit together. Maintain a balance. You cannot afford to flunk subjects that makes you look more like a loser in front of your peers.
9. Spend time with your family. This might sound a little off-track but spending time with your family not only makes you feel good, but also teaches you not to depend on others for your happiness, considering you are getting love from the right place. It is only when we do not get love from the right places, that we start searching for it in the wrong ones.
10. Pay encourage-able compliments. Paying compliments that are on the superficial level would only result in making you look like a total fake! Instead of telling them you like their dress or bracelet, go for something more natural and productive like “Hey! I love your music” or “Hey! I stumbled upon your art work yesterday, they’re gorgeous!”
11. Date a guy with a good job. We all remember that high school golden rule of dating the senior football captain! That’s exactly why it is called a golden rule! It never goes out of style. Date a guy who makes you proud and is keen on taking his responsibilities. Not only does it speak about your taste, but about your sensibility as well. (You can’t date trashy college going boys anymore!)
12. Get out of your comfort zone. Your comfort zone is the size of your shoe, and the world is as big as your college campus. You really need to get out there to make things happen. Talk to people, be out-spoken and straight forward, and develop good speaking skills. Do not be a ‘little damsel in distress’!
13. Listen more. It goes without saying- Talk less, listen more. You don’t want to be babbling rubbish without knowledge and look daft.
14. Do not be judgemental. If you do not want people to be judging you according to your image, you owe them the same. Always remember – Perceptions can be deceptive!
15. Don’t trust everybody. Last but not the least; you don’t know anyone’s true intentions until you are facing it. So do not trust people easily. They might be planning your next downfall while sipping that coffee along with you. Don’t give them a chance to use anything against you.
With these pointers in mind, you’re good to go! All you have to do is be patient and hold your head high. You don’t build mountains overnight. And please do not pity yourself; you do not owe anyone anything. Be a badass!