As I was perusing various websites today, I stumbled across a multitude of “X Number of Things Every ___ Girl Can Relate To.” These articles ranged from things tall and short girls can relate to all the way to things pretty and ugly girls can relate to (yes, seriously).
As I read article after article (I couldn’t help it… I had to see what I was missing!), I realized something rather profound: I am completely, utterly and 100% average.
So! Here’s to you, other average girls in the world. Here are six things that you’re bound to relate to:
1. You are neither tall nor short.
At approximately 5’5’’ (give or take an inch or two), you can’t claim to be either tall or short without someone arguing the opposite. Tall people call you short, short people call you tall, and you just stand there at your incredibly average height, trying to make up a word that could mean “not tall but not short.” Tart? Shall? Too bad those are already in the dictionary.
2. Forget about finding clothes that fit you.
Ironically, this was on almost every list that I read. Clearly, none of the hundreds of thousands of clothing items produced on this planet were made to fit a single one of us. We’re all proportioned incorrectly — whether your boobs are too big or you have no butt or your hips are too wide or (insert self-deprecating body image comment here), clothing was obviously not meant for your body type. Nudist colony, anyone?
3. Your face is perfectly adequate.
Make-up or no make-up, you look the same. It’s a harsh reality that you’ve finally accepted after hours of watching Pinterest contouring tutorials and countless dollars spent on useless products. It’s not like you look in the mirror and see a hideous monster staring back at you, but you certainly don’t see a flawless beauty queen, either. Whatever. Your eyes are kind of cool looking sometimes, at least.
4. Picking an adjective on a Buzzfeed quiz is nearly impossible.
You honestly spend more time on one of those ridiculous “Pick an adjective that describes you!” questions than you do on any other solitary question on the damn quiz. Are you fun? Adventurous? Seductive? Well, no… Not really. You would rather hang out on your couch than go to a party and you draw the line at trying freaky foods. But your ex-boyfriend said you were sexy once — does that count?
5. You have no idea what your talent is.
If you had to come up with a talent for the Miss America pageant, you’d be hard-pressed to find one. You can carry a tune, but you’re not a singer. You can draw a couple cartoony sea creatures, but you’re not an artist. You can sway to a beat, but you’re not a dancer. Is being average a talent? It’s gotta be. Right?
6. People think you’re being down on yourself by calling yourself “average.”
Okay, it isn’t exactly a compliment. But it’s not not a compliment. You don’t consider yourself a fat, ugly, untalented ogre, after all. You’re decently good at things and you don’t look like a total mess all the time — you just aren’t going to stand out in a crowd. Some people don’t mind that… And the people that do mind will eventually turn into Lady Gaga or Kesha.