This One’s For The Girls Who Are Settling For Less

don't settle, women, for the women
God & Man

Okay ladies — I’m talking to you today.

I wanna get really real about the whole purity thing today. Because I think so much of the time we just package it up real pretty and sugar coat it, which is cool, but it’s not really helping anybody.

We spend so much time talking about the guys and how visually driven they are and how they frequently struggle with sexual temptation and their struggles to live and act as Godly men and that’s great. Don’t get me wrong. That’s good to talk about that.

But what about the girls (and no I’m not trying to turn this post into an equality movement)? Because when we talk to girls about purity we tie a pretty bow on it. We tell them that somewhere out there is a man for them, and we should wait on him. We should pray for him diligently and make a commitment to Jesus to wait. We compare ourselves to a crumpled up piece of paper and say, “now wouldn’t you rather be whole and lacking torn edges and complete when you’re married?” 

This stuff is good. It really is. But I mean really? Can we cut the crud and just get real for a second? Because we don’t talk about the struggles. We don’t talk about our hang ups and the times we fall flat on our faces when it comes to purity. We don’t talk about the times we settle and make mistakes. We aren’t authentic about purity in the slightest.

Because I know I have sisters out there who feel like complete dirt when they think about their sexual past, or present for that matter. I know there are sisters who are thinking about the relationship they’re currently in, knowing that its just a hookup, but don’t know what to do. I know there are sisters out there who are about to settle for a “Netflix n’ chill” kind of guy just because they’re lonely and tired of waiting. And I know for a fact that there are sisters out there who are tired of being the odd one out in a world FULL of sex and boys.

Because believe it or not, I have wrestled and struggled the exact same as my sisters. I have dealt with the temptations and the slip ups and the days I’ve fallen flat on my face when it comes to purity. I have wanted to settle so bad, I’ve wanted to stop having to be the odd one out when the topic of sex comes up. I have been there. Like been there.

So I want you to listen.

You deserve more than the sheets on the mattress that you settle for on Saturday nights. You deserve more than the boy who won’t bat an eye at you until you take your clothes off. You deserve more than the boy who only wants you at 2 am, not 2 pm. You deserve more than whatever you’re settling for on the internet. You deserve more.

Taking off your clothes for someone (or something) is not going to make someone love you. Or take care of you. Or stay. Or make you more enough. It just won’t.

But just because you might’ve taken off your clothes, it doesn’t mean you’re ruined. It does not matter what you’ve done or where you’ve been or where you are. You are always going to be worth more than you could ever comprehend.

“She is more precious than rubies, nothing you desire can compare with her.” [Proverbs 3:15]

You are worth more than all riches. You are worth more than the things you find yourself watching on the internet at 1 in the morning. You are worth more than the comments on your Instagram. You are worth more than the boy who told you that you weren’t. Who said that you weren’t enough. Who said that he wouldn’t stay if you don’t put out. That no one will ever stay. Who said that if you don’t take off your clothes, then he’ll take off.

Let him. 

Because you have a man who died for you. Who looks at you in the middle of your mess, in the middle of your hang ups and slip ups, and says, “I’m staying.” You have a God who loves you.

I have searched and searched in so many places and things, that I’m not proud of. And I’ve looked in so many places for my worth, and I’ve found it, but it’s not where you’re looking. It’s found in the one person who will forever fill me up, God. It’s in no man’s opinion, no comment on Instagram, no video I can find online, no thoughts of my own when I look in the mirror and begin to pick apart my body.

NOTHING can undo what He has already said about me and what He has already done for me.

Anyone who doesn’t see that, and doesn’t believe that, does not deserve the privilege of sitting in the front row of your life. That’s reserved seating. So stop giving people discounts and forgetting to add tax. Tune your heart to Him and all that He is, because if I know one thing, it’s that He is true, and good, always.

And once you realize the price that you were bought for, you have to understand that you are priceless. And the unpopular opinion of a boy who goes to church but lives for the world does not get to tell you who you are and what you’re worth. He doesn’t get the final say. God does.

I have seen the ugly. The relationships that don’t work. The one’s where I search and search and beg to find my worth in a boy. The one’s that leave me empty and sad. But I have also seen the kind that is freeing. The kind that runs after Him. The kind where a hand is placed on my cheek, tilting my face towards God when I forget to. But that kind can only be found in Jesus. And the good news is that there is SO much redemption and freedom found in Him. You just have to be willing to chase after Him, with everything you are.

I so wish that I could grab each one of your hands and look you in the eyes and tell you the price Jesus paid on the cross for you and your true worth, but at the very least, I hope this hints at it.

YOU ARE WORTH MORE. And it’s time to start believing it. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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